Lessons Learned
by PhoenixDiamond
Summary: Sasuke never expected to fall for one of his student's father so quickly. Naruto hadn't expected the teacher to be as fine as he was either. Funny how these parent-teacher meetings tend to work out. AU. SasuNaru. OOC
1. Parent-Teacher Meeting

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. Therefore I own nada and make nada.

**Inspiration: **A Passing Grade by The Petulant Prodigy. Though this one will be longer, I wanted to give credit where credit is due.

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**Parent-Teacher Meeting**

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Everybody warned him teaching high school wouldn't be a cake walk but had he known it'd be this frustrating, he would've done law school. Sasuke has been teaching for about seven years and never in his entire career has he had as much trouble out of a student as he was with this child. She was a bright young girl, possibly one of the smartest in her class when it came to Ethics and Economics, Calculus l and Honors English. However from the way that neon green skirt was riding her legs to reveal more of her fish net stockings and leather black boots, no one would ever guess Sakura Haruno Uzumaki was a straight A student. She stayed in and out the principal's office for her smart ass comments and disrupting class.

Sakura was entering into her third offense this month after being caught sneaking notes under her desk to one of the young girls name Ino Yamanaka. She was currently setting in the seat next to Sakura with a less than confident expression, blue eyes glued to the floor as if the carpet would know a way for her to get out of trouble. She was more conservative in her fashion, wearing a purple V-neck t-shirt, acid washed grey jeans and her blonde hair falling in curly ringlets around her shoulder. Sasuke cast another look over Sakura's chest wondering if that yellow tank top could get any lower.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair, folding his arms, "How do you expect to succeed in life by causing so much trouble?" Sasuke said to both students but more towards Sakura. "I've given you enough chances to redeem yourselves but you prove me wrong every time. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"

Ino opened and closed her mouth, thinly pressing her lips together. Sakura whipped out her cell phone and started tapping her manicured nails across the screen.

Sasuke's left eyebrow twitched, "Ms. Uzumaki, have you anything to say?"

"Nope," She said right off. "What's there to say? If I say I didn't do it, you'll say I did. If I say peach, you'll say cream. Pecan is Pecun. Why bother? Teachers always win." She suddenly giggled at something on her cell and music started beeping from the back speaker.

"I'm offering you an opportunity of getting out of another trip to Mr. Umino's office. Do you really want to risk being expelled?"

Ino's face turned white at the two sheets of paper placed on Sasuke's desk.

Sakura hardly spared him a glance, continuing to tap away at her IPhone.

Patience was a virtue. Sasuke was slowly losing his. The only reason he even attempted to give this girl a chance was because she wasn't all that bad. She offered to help other students with their assignments when asked and always turned in her homework. It seemed such a waste to punish good intelligence but an example needed to be made.

When Sakura let out another giggle, Sasuke couldn't resist asking, "Why do you have your cell phone out?"

Sakura's mouth casually wound around the stick of gum in her mouth, green eyes lazily sizing Sasuke like he was three inches tall. Her face was a mix between bored and irritated. Ino nervously glanced between her best friend and her teacher like she wished she could be anywhere else but there.

"I'm texting my friends on Facebook," Sakura popped her gum and went back to staring at her phone. "You're borin' me to death so I'm inviting them to my funeral."

"I see," Sasuke shook his head slowly, pushing their papers forward. "This is the third time I've caught you two cheating in class and passing notes—"

"I don't cheat," Sakura snapped without looking. "I'm the smartest person in here. What the crap I look like cheatin'?"

"Then explain why you and Ms. Yamanaka's answers are identical from number one thru thirteen. Numbers fourteen, nineteen and twenty six are answers made by your handwriting."

"That's," Sakura's fingers slowed on her phone. She finally glanced up from her phone, the first sign of regret mirroring in her eyes. "It's not cheatin'. Ino didn't understand the answer that's all. If she didn't pass, she was gonna have to downgrade to regular classes. She needs this class to get her softball scholarship." Then she turned to Sasuke with renewed anger. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You only care about trying to ruin her life."

Sasuke's demeanor somewhat softened. He lowered his arms to cross over his desk, leaning toward the fifteen year old girls, "Be that as it may, Ino should've approached me if she was having troubles with her lessons. I offer tutor sessions after class every Tuesday and Thursday."

"The way you do it sucks Mr. Uchiha," Sakura said, rolling her eyes. "She understands it better when I show her."

"Then offer to assist her studies after classes Ms. Uzumaki, not during," Sasuke voice took a steely hint when Sakura returned to texting on her phone. Her attitude would make the Pope cuss in tongues. "So you wouldn't care if Ms. Yamanaka's suspended for interrupting class and cheating on her test."

Sakura's eyes grew impossibly wide.

"Mr. Uchiha!" Ino gasped worriedly. "Please sir, I promise I won't do it again. I swear. I really needed the help. I couldn't understand any of it. If I get suspended, I'll have to drop from the team. Please, I'm so sorry."

"Now hold on!" Sakura popped from her chair so abruptly, the chair crashed against one of the front row desks. "Why you gotta involve Ino in this? I'm the one who did wrong. She didn't do anything. If you're gonna suspend anybody, it should be me. Leave her out of this!"

Sasuke shook his head, "I can't do that. You've been warned, both of you have, and you went against my rules. I've already contacted Mr. Umino to schedule a meeting with your parents this evening."

"That's not fair!" Sakura shouted, slamming her hands down flat on his desk. "You're the biggest dick ever Mr. Uchiha!"

Sasuke stared at her unfazed at her outburst, or moved at the stressed look in her bright eyes. Out the corner of his eye he saw Ino crumbling in her chair, fingers ash white as she gripped the bottom of her seat. Tears glossed over her eyes and suddenly streamed down her face, streaking the mascara over her cheeks. She went to cover her eyes, all of her blonde hair curtaining around her as she leaned forward to cry in her hands. Heaving sobs racked her slender frame over and over.

Sasuke knew Ino's situation all too well. Her father had taught him when he was in elementary school. He'd fell ill recently to Leukemia and been bedridden ever since. She was the only family he had and going to school was the only way to support their necessities. She even had a part time job at Five Guys and Fries during the week and did extra school cleaning after school. Sasuke was hardly the kind of man to be so cruel. That'd be the last thing he'd ever do.

"Well," he started slowly, eyeballing Sakura until she retook her chair, lips poked out, looking every bit of a five year old. "What do you propose we do Ms. Uzumaki?"

Sakura reached out to grab Ino's hand, softly squeezing her fingers. Her other hand brushed aside Ino's banes, soft as touching a newborn baby, "I'll take the rep Teach."

"No," Ino shook her head. "No, no Sakura you don't have too. Please, we both did wrong."

"Ino, its fine. Who's gonna care?" She chuckled. "I could care less what happens to me. Hell, I hate school anyway. With luck I'll be kicked out for good. But you," Sakura cupped her cheek. "You got a whole future ahead of you. I don't wanna see you waste it 'cause of me." Sakura lowered her lips to kiss Ino's hand and turned a solemn look at Mr. Uchiha.

A genuine honest expression that held something to make Sasuke relent in his decision, "Ino step outside a moment please."

"Yes sir," Ino stood, holding on as long as she could to Sakura's hand before distance tore them apart and left the teacher and student in the classroom alone.

With Ino gone, some of Sakura's flare returned but nowhere as spry as it had been in the beginning. Sasuke knew a thing about puppy love. Hell, he'd been there and done that too when he'd been in high school. "Sakura, I'm glad to see you care about Ino's future but what about yours? Where's your ambition? You wrote an excellent report last semester in Ethics about wanting to become a Pediatric Nurse."

"I'm being realistic Teach," Sakura said. "I'm no good with this school stuff. It's boring, _you're_ boring and all I do is get in trouble anyway."

"The last I checked troublemakers had the ability to change their ways and improve their records. Your grades are flawless Sakura," Sasuke stressed softly. "You have the drive somewhere to become a nurse, to be whatever you want." Silence followed after his statement. When another moment passed without a reply, Sasuke's fingers drummed over the disciplinary forms on his desk. "Sakura."

Sea greens rose to meet his own.

"I'm willing to overlook this on one condition. You and Ino separate in all your classes until the end of the year, you retake your tests and I have a meeting with your parents."

Sakura frowned hard, "And Ino? You'll leave her alone?"

"I will but only if you follow my conditions. One slip up and you both go to Mr. Umino's office. Do you understand?"

Sakura leaned her chair back on the back legs, hands shoved in the pockets of her skirt, slowly smacking on her gum, "My mom's a loss cause. The bitch doesn't care what I do." She grumbled to herself. "But I can call my dad. He gets off work at six thirty."

Sasuke nodded, pulling both forms into his top desk drawer, "That'll do. You can go for now. Have your homework ready in the morning."

The pink haired girl grimly nodded before dropping her chair in place and standing. She swallowed the gum in her mouth, all the fire melted off her shoulders as she stared at the floor, walking to her desk to grab her book bag. The entire time Sasuke watched his top and most troubled student gather her things with a new pair of eyes. The subject of her mother must've been difficult.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

"Hello," Her voice was unusually gentle and her smile so foreign. "Hey daddy. No sir, no sir. Yeah I'm done with classes. I. . . I'm sorry daddy. I got in trouble and . . ." Sakura nodded against the receiver. "Yes. I know. Mr. Uchiha wants to speak with you when you get off work. You can? Ok. No daddy damn. It's not about boys. Ugh, you're so stupid sometimes," she giggled. "Sure, I'll have dinner ready when you come home. Spaghetti and green beans good? Alright, I love you too. Bye." All the power behind her confidence zapped out of her as soon as she hung up.

So he had a daddy's little girl in his midst. Sasuke made a secret note of that in the back of his mind.

"He says he'll come by after work Mr. Uchiha. See ya," She murmured before walking out the door. Before it closed behind her, Sasuke saw when Ino wrapped her arms around Sakura's shoulders, lips clued to her ear. Judging by the feather strokes of Sakura's fingers on Ino's face and the sparkle in the blonde's eyes, there seemed to be more to their relationship then friendship. Sakura pressed a kiss to Ino's cheek and draped her arm across her shoulder as they walked down the hall together to reach the buses.

Seeing them so close, it only made Sasuke more comfortable with the fact he gave the girls a second chance. Only time would tell whether or not they deserved it.

Now with them gone, he had time to prepare for the meeting with Sakura's father. What the hell could he do besides clean the mark board? It was just a parent meeting. He'd done this plenty of times before with his other student's parents, most of them usually good meetings and the few occasions he had with the bad apples.

Well . . . now that he thought about it, Sakura's father never attended any of the parent-teacher meetings. He had no clue what the man looked like, whether he was truly involved in the girl's life at all or cared what she did in school. For all Sasuke knew the man could be one of those deadbeat, beer belly fathers who'd rather scratch their dicks in front of the television, then care if their child got another A. He sure as hell didn't give a damn that his daughter came out the house looking like a dime store hooker.

Sasuke went around the classroom, gathering sheets of paper off the floor, excess erasers and pencils sticking out of places. The textbooks aligned the wall were straightened, the floor vacuumed, the chalkboard washed, the mark board given a new facelift for tomorrow's lessons and then he began grading today's chapter tests.

All the cleaning took up less time than expected and he quickly grew bored of grading papers. He marked enough red to make Dexter think a murder was committed. Sasuke checked the wall clock behind him. It read 6:03. Mr. Uzumaki wouldn't get off work until later anyway. Sasuke could have a cup of coffee and come back in time to meet with the man.

Making his way down the hall, Sasuke saw one of the senior teachers, Shikamaru Nara speaking with the art teacher, Ms. Temari. He waved, they waved back, continuing with their conversation. The teacher's lounge was everything anyone would imagine it to be.

A boring plain, room with three brown tables, some desk chairs, two microwaves, a large refrigerator and a flat screen television plastered on the back wall. Sasuke found the school's only Geography teacher sitting in the same spot, eating the same dinner, watching the television show, with the same expression. If no one really knew Gaara the way Sasuke did they'd swear the man was a zombie from the Walking Dead.

Sasuke retrieved his coffee mug from the top cabinet, and filled it with the stale coffee. It tasted like ground dirt but hell beggars can't be choosers. He pulled up the chair across from Gaara, whose pale sage eyes were clued to a rerun of Andy Griffith. "What's up Gaara?" He asked.

Gaara screwed his turkey sandwich and sipped his sweet tea without a word.

Sasuke sipped his coffee again, "Today's been another unbelievable event after another. Had nothing but problems out of Sakura again. I set up a conference with her father, but God knows how that's going to turn out."

Gaara nodded, taking another bite from his sandwich.

"What's up ladies!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes to the ceiling. The school's basketball coach, Kiba Inuzuka, came bouncing in as loud and obnoxious as always with a basketball under his armpit and the school's logo printed on his red hoodie and snap back. It was no secret amongst the colleagues who had a thing for who. Kiba didn't bother hiding it either when it came to who wanted to date.

The doggish coach came tumbling in, shitty grin eating up his face as he flopped down in a chair next to Gaara, "So baby," Kiba started sexily. "When ya gonna let me blow my dynamite in your cave?"

Sasuke choked on his coffee.

Gaara kept looking at the TV.

"Alright, s'cool. Play hard to get," Kiba wouldn't be deterred. He'd try again later. He always tried again. "What's up Sasuke. Sakura givin' ya hell again?"

"HmMmm," He nodded around the rim of his mug. "Got a parent-teacher conference in a few." As a matter of fact—Sasuke checked the wall clock—it was 6: 37 now. He might as well make the trip back. Hopefully the man would be there by the time he arrived to the classroom. Sasuke poured out the rest of his coffee, not bothering to say goodbye since Kiba was busy trying to figure out the next lame ass come on. Something about him being Barney and needing love or some shit.

As Sasuke strolled down the hallway, hands in his pockets, he heard a tremor similar to a punch against a wall coming from outside. The bumps became loud beats and the beats eventually blended into music. Sasuke paused next one of the windows to look outside, wondering where the hell all that loud noise was coming from.

He spied a 1995 gunmetal Cadillac Eldorado pulling into the school visitor parking lot. The windows were tinted black as quill ink, and polished hub caps the color of underwater treasure on white wall tires. Loud speakers in the back of the car were drumming the bass to music Sasuke hadn't heard since he was a child.

_Return of the mack,  
It is,  
Return of the mack,  
Come on,  
Return of the mack,  
Oh, my god,  
You know that I'll be back,  
Here I am.  
Return of the mack,  
Once again,  
Return of the mack,  
Top of the world,  
Return of the mack,  
Watch my flow,  
You know that I'll be back,  
Here I go._

How many times had his daddy wore the hell out of Mark Morrison? Sasuke shook his head and kept on walking to class. The things folks listened to these days still amazed him. He rounded the hall to his class, expecting to see someone waiting for him in the class.

No parent. No Sakura. There was no one.

Fine, no problem. The guy did get off at 6:30. Sasuke couldn't expect him to be here right off the back. So he went about doing some last minute nit picking at various parts of the class. The textbooks were reorganized, he made sure the desks were parallel each other and around the time he reached the stand for the wall projector he heard a shrill squeal and a rough snarl boom in C Hall.

"Kyuubi! Stop runnin' 'round like ya got any house trainin'!"

"Daddddddy, I wanna p'ay!"

"What did I say?"

Well.

Sasuke viewed his clock. 7:18. Not perfect timing but reasonable enough. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go China Town for some take out and the couch at home. He stopped at the corner of his desk to take a seat on top, thought better of how unprofessional that'd appear and went around to take his leather chair.

The door gaped open.

In bounced a young child no taller than Sasuke's thigh and enough red hair to leave a blood trail. He twirled around in a circle on, arms spread wide, making small air engine noise with his lips before coming to a brief stop and falling backwards on the floor. Something must've been amusing about suddenly dropping to the floor, because the kid couldn't stop giggling and his bright blue eyes danced with child filled merriment.

"Kyuubi, don't make me take off my belt!"

The child, whom Sasuke assumed to be Kyuubi, snapped to attention faster than a deer caught in the headlights. "I s'rry Daddy."

"Don't be sorry lil' boy. Just do what I say." The door opened wider and the last man Sasuke ever expected walked in.

The first thing he noticed right off the back was the head of saffron hair and Italian tan skin. The next to follow were eyes the color of cornflowers, a smile for days and a fine face to match. This man—Sasuke's inner beast was raging—had to be have been about an inch or two shorter than he was with a bulky body that wore caramel muscles like saran wrap. He was absolutely mouthwatering. Sasuke counted the steps it too for this man's street long legs to reach him and stretch out his hand to shake.

Sasuke was sure his twenty nine years was pushing up on him, if he couldn't do a simple handshake. Either that, or he was catching a serious case of not having any ass in a while.

This man's chest was thick as a barrel, encased inside a sky blue polo with the logo for _All American_ _Homes _printed over his right pectoral in white letters. The collar was flipped up and the three buttons undone down to reveal a peek of this man's forbidden ozone. Brown dirt marks dusted over his grey mans and some of his elbow, he could've been covered in red paint and pink leather and still rock it better than Prince.

"How ya doin'? Naruto Uzumaki," The blond man introduced with a voice dripping sinful promises.

At least they did in Sasuke's ears. His exterior revealed not a thing, but shit if his inner self wasn't catapulting from side to side.

"I guess you're my daughter's teacher. Mr. Uchiha, right?"

Sasuke's face remained blank and so did the space between him and Naruto's hand. A billion assumptions were running through his mind at once. For starters, this guy barely looked old enough for pull ups and here he was saying Sakura was his daughter? She was fifteen years old. He barely looked twenty five.

Naruto frowned, "_You are_ her teacher aren't ya?"

No reply. Sasuke wished that foot in his mouth would come out.

The blond retracted his hand, reaching around to scratch behind his head, "Sorry, guess I'm in da' wrong place. The kid said this was the place," Naruto gave the school room a look around, searching for clues. "I could've sworn she said Room 419."

Sasuke still hadn't said a word because his eyes fell down where the hem of Naruto's sleeves pulled back over his vein induced biceps. There had to be at least three different rows of these lines meeting and separating on this guy's arms. Then there was the smell of soil, sweat and musk whisking across Sasuke's nose.

"Yo, can't ya point me in the right direction? I need to hurry this shit along. Gotta have dinner ready for my brats and they're fuckin' hellions when they don't eat."

Common sense dropped in Sasuke's head, heavy as an anvil. He cleared his throat and gave himself a few mental knock outs before putting his hand forth, "Excuse me Mr. Uzumaki. Yes I'm Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura's honors teacher. It's been a long day you realize, so excuse my absent mindedness. Please, have a seat." Sasuke waved a hand around to one of the desks in front of his.

Naruto spared Sasuke a critical look, eyebrow sneaking up to his hairline, "Right," he slowly murmured, taking the offered seat. "You." He pointed and snapped at the little child currently doing a handstand on his head. "There, now." The little firecracker righted himself and hopped in the chair next to his father, his chin leveled just enough to reach the top. "Don't move." Naruto tapped the boy's nose and turned to face Sasuke with a very familiar scowl.

Now Sasuke saw where Sakura got it from.

"So lay it on me, Teach. What's my brat lookin' like in your class? She gonna make it or am I lookin' at transferrin' her?" The blonde father closed his eyes, the lines on his cheeks stretching wider. "Keep it straight with me."

Sasuke had barely gotten in his chair before Naruto asked for the four one, one.

Another trait inherited it seemed. Sakura grew bored easily with explanations when wanting the straight facts. But that both worked and failed in her favor. Sasuke retrieved his quarter average grades from the second cabinet of his cherry wood desk and leafed through until finding Sakura towards the end. He pulled it out and flipped it open to the current year's grades. "Sakura's got one of the best scores recorded in Calculus l, Honors English and Ethics and Economics in her grade. If she applies herself enough, chances are she could be valedictorian." Sasuke pushed the manila folder forward for Naruto to read himself.

But the father didn't bother looking at it. In fact, he slid it right back to Sasuke like it was an empty plate for the servant to pick up. "You're tellin' me shit I already know. I know she's smart. What I'm askin' is if my kid's got a chance of passin' your class?"

"She does. However it takes more than good marks," Sasuke flipped to another page for attendance and disciplinary actions taken in the pass quarter. "I've written her up several times for detention, she's seen Mr. Umino numerous occasions for bad conduct and overly disrupting the class with random outbursts."

"Hmm," Naruto nodded slowly, crossing his feet at the ankles, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. The position left his neck on full view, slender and yet firm. His Adam apple bobbed when he spoke, catching Sasuke's dark eyes the way a hawk zeros in on prey. "How long has the brat been showin' her ass?"

Sasuke thought a moment, "Since the beginning of the year. Four months, nearly five."

"Shit, figures. She must've saw that bitch again," Naruto sighed, straightening himself in the seat. "Alright, what else?"

A moment passed with tensed silence. The thin patience extruded seemed limited, from what Sasuke could see. He didn't press it, and went on to discuss today's interruption, "Today was the final strike against your daughter. Sakura and Ino were caught cheating in class as well as passing notes during lessons and—"

Sasuke blinked hard, and then slowly lifted his gaze up to his student's parent, stunned. Naruto let off a sudden laugh that tore and rebounded off the walls of the room like pin pong balls. The tenor rose with a sudden loud boom and wheeze, back loud, then deep. A frown pinched Sasuke's forehead. Whatever the joke was he failed to catch it, but apparently Naruto thought it was the funniest punch line in the universe.

"Oh God, that little brat. I knew her ass was lyin'." Naruto barked in between laughs. "Studyin' my ass. Ya know when my boy here walked in her room and told me he saw his sister neckin' with that Ino girl, I thought he was shittin' me. But this here? Oh yeah, I knew it. Definitely knew that!" He continued laughing and shaking his head.

His laugh was . . . disgustingly contagious. Sasuke's lips split into the smallest smirk as he watched the blond man animate into a whole new person. This face he liked much better. A frown did nothing to enhance his good lucks. "I discovered it myself after some time. They're always partnering together for projects and walking together to classes. Not to mention their love letters."

Naruto finally somber up enough to speak, "Love letters eh? I'm gonna remember to add that to my shit list when I get home. Girl's been a fast one since she hit thirteen. Whew," Naruto's chuckled died away complete, expression slowly distancing to something that left a smile on his face. "She's always been a handful, even when she was a little baby. I was scared as hell ya know? When her mama came and told me she was pregnant before we even knew what pregnant was."

"I can imagine," Sasuke said without thinking. It was already out there, so might as well carry on the conversation since it is technically about Sakura. No rules were being broken. "You seem so young to be a father with two children."

"Thirty one's not all that young."

So he was older. Interesting.

"I didn't think age was anything when I was fifteen. All I cared about about was flippin' skirts and catchin' a dick in my mouth. And then there came Jackie Haruno. Sweetest piece of ass in school. We knocked boots and she got knocked up," Naruto blinked at Sasuke's face. There was a confusion there he recognized. "I know what you're thinkin'. The pink hair and green eyes, right? How the hell can a blond hair, blue eyed man create that? I thought the same thing when I saw Sakura. I sure as hell didn't think she was mine. Jackie had green eyes but where the fuck did that pink hair come from? I just knew she wasn't mine, but when our folks took us to the clinic for a test, DANA came back positive."

Naruto took a deep breath, continuing his story, "Well after that I planned on leavin' her with her mother because hey, what's a fifteen year old boy to do with a baby eh? I was young, still wet behind the ears and on my way up with a basketball scholarship to University."

The manila folder was forgotten all together as Sasuke leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the top of his desk, entranced with the tale unfolding, "But you didn't leave her."

"I planned too," Naruto said. "I wanted to so bad, but then I heard through the grapevine all the crazy shit Jackie was gettin' herself into. Drugs, the drinkin', different men, just flat outta control. I caught her stupid ass out one night with Sakura outside one of the clubs downtown. She was scorin' a dime bag with my four month old baby girl under her arm like a purse." Naruto dragged a hand over his head of spiny hair, everything in his child's life pouring out like a faucet. "Sakura's head was greasy and full of dirt. Her skin was ashy and cracked, her gums were white and when she started cryin' that about did it for me. I took her away and told Jackie if she came near my child again I'd kill her ass. That's why I think Sakura's been actin' up lately. She saw the nasty tramp around that time in Walmart and hadn't been straight since."

An involuntary shiver hooked Sasuke's spine like pirate hooks. The way Naruto's voice deepened about that woman—damn what did he sound like when in the mood? Sasuke cleared his throat, "I never knew how much she's been through. Sakura's normally hard as stone."

"My baby girl is—wait, don't think I'm tellin' ya this for sympathy, but," Naruto scratched behind his head again, a habit duly noted. "Never mind, why tell you a whole piss sad story in the first place right?" He chuckled nervously. "S'ppose ya think I'm a lil' nuts huh?"

"Not at all Mr. Uzumaki—"

"Naruto."

"I'm sorry?"

"Call me Naruto. My dad was Mr. Uzumaki. I just told you my sob story so I think we're past formalities. I'm Naruto, you're Sasuke, cool?"

"I'm your daughter's teacher."

"And I'm her old man."

"It's unprofessional."

"It's necessary if I think you're kinda cute."

Sasuke's mouth clamped shut on what he had planned to say next. The ammo swallowed back in his throat, trapped. Straight forward indeed. "Mr. Uzuma— Naruto" Sasuke corrected himself at Naruto's scowl. "With all due respect, I think you're an attractive man—"

"Ya don't have to return the compliment sweetheart," Naruto winked. "I get around enough ta' know I'm sexy."

Sasuke was gradually losing his edge. The wall built between parent and teacher was crumbling like bread crumbs. It was so troublesome. Here was this gloriously handsome father of two, with mood swings like a fifty year old woman in heat, a wicked smile and a stone hard fact lying between them. Sasuke was the teacher, Naruto the parent. Would he really break that barrier?

"Ya know," Naruto sat up slowly and stretched out his legs in front of him, folding his arms across his chest. "You damn near have the prettiest face I've ever seen. And trust, I've seen lots."

Sasuke couldn't help it. His chuckle bubbled off his lips faint as music and twice as sultry. This man was a wonder, openly flirting with him in front of his son—who happened to be asleep under the desk, thank goodness—and with a gleam of lust clearly evident in his blue eyes. "Are you flirting with me to save your daughter's record, _Mr. Uzumaki_?" He let the formality slip with a delicate flick.

"Hell no, this is grown folk's business here. Whatever ya plan to do with Sakura, don't let what I'm doin' ruin it." Naruto leaned back, some of his parenting back in check. "If you give her a second chance, sure I'll appreciate it, but if you think she deserves suspension, nothing I say will change your mind." Silence, then a warm grin. "You look like the type of man who does what he wants, when he wants too."

If possible, Sasuke's gaze grew intensely dark, "I've been told I can be aggressive when I wanna be."

Yeah right. No one's told him that in about two years.

"Is that right?" Naruto eased out of the desk and stood tall, leaning forward to plant his palms flat on Sasuke's desk. "So if we're done talkin' about my daughter, lemme ask you this. What is it ya want right now Mr. Uchiha?"

Did he really have to ask? Sasuke knew when he was being challenged and answered with one of his own. He too stood up, shadowing Naruto by an inch as he closed in some of the gape between them, "What is it you want me to do?"

Naruto smiled, "How's about givin' me your number and a date? Sound good, yeah?"

"It does." Holy hell he was going to get fired, but Sasuke would be damned to hell if he let this sexy son of a gun go without having a taste. "Six o'clock Saturday. Your place or mine?"

"Wherever ya want me."

"My place it is then." Sasuke was looking at Naruto's sharply bright blue eyes, the high arch of his cheek bones, the clean map of caramel skin, his plump bottom lip and the dipping V that showed off his chest.

He'd been busily scoping out the tiny blond curls on Naruto's chest when the blonde's outdoor scent fanned his nose and his breath breezed across his ear, "It's a date then."

And the warmth vanished. Naruto took the whole atmosphere with him as he went to retrieve his sleeping son. Sasuke watched him head for the door.

"By the way," Naruto started when he reached the door. "Just so we're clear, I ain't anybody's bottom bitch."

Sasuke smiled wide and lustful, "What a coincidence, neither am I."

"Hn, we'll see."

And then he left. Leaving the classroom empty of his presence and Sasuke wondering what the hell he'd just gotten himself into.

* * *

"Bwhahahahahahaha I fuckin' knew it!"

"Alright, alright daddy enough. I get it, ha ha laugh at me, shit."

Naruto had arrived home to find his daughter finishing up with tonight's dinner. Kyuubi had woken up long enough to eat a little, take a bath and head to bed for school tomorrow. Sakura was at the kitchen sink, dressed in one of Naruto's oversized red tees and black jersey shorts, all her pink hair pulled up a shaggy ponytail. As soon as Naruto came back from the shower, he told her how the meeting went with her teacher.

Her touch screen IPhone sat on the counter next to the dish rack playing Va Va Boom by Nicki Minaj. It was a habit she'd gotten from Naruto years ago. He couldn't stand washing dishes in silence, and she couldn't either. She used her phone and he was a little more primitive using a little radio turned to 98.3 the R&B station.

He'd changed in a black wife beater, a pair of paint stained grey sweats and an orange bandana tied around his forehead and forearm.

"Just who were ya tryin' ta' fool lil' girl? I played that game enough to know how it works." Naruto said from the dining table, straddling one of the chairs. "If you were bumpin' rugs ya should've told me."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Like I wanna tell my old man I'm fuckin' my best friend."

"What'd I say about droppin' the F bomb in here?"

"Whatever, you outta practice what you preach. If you don't want me cussin' you shouldn't either."

"I'm a grown ass man."

"And I'm a teenage girl." Sakura turned around with a bit of soap suds and water on her left cheek. "So I'm grounded for how long?"

"Till I can figure out what's better." Naruto chuckled. "You know better than to cut up in school. Your teacher's a nice man. Pretty cute too."

"No!" Sakura swirled around with a soggy spatula in her hand. "Don't touch him. Don't you dare. I mean it Daddy. I'll castrate you in your sleep."

Naruto paled, hands raised in mock surrender, "Hey, hey, I get it, hands off. If you like him so much, why ya giving him such a hard time?"

"I don't like Mr. Uchiha. He's boring, he always smells like lemons, his voice sounds like a dehydrated android and don't get me started on his sense of fashion. Ugh you should see him on Fridays. He always wears that same stupid black polo, black jeans and black shoes. Daddy he swears Reeboks. Reeboks daddy!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "So why can't I like him too? I like a man in black."

"You like a man in anything you can take off," Sakura sighed dramatically, wiping her wrist across her forehead. "Daddy pleassssssse, if you love me, you won't go deep dicking my teacher! That's fuckin' gross!"

"Sakura what'd I say?"

"Daddy!"

"Ok, ok, I already said I wouldn't lay hands on him."

"That includes feet, dicks, tongues, teeth, lips, eyes and toes." Sakura cast a sage glare over her shoulder to show how serious she was.

Naruto sighed long and frustrated, "Did ya ever think your old man was tired of bein' alone?"

"I'm not sayin' you can't go out and have a couple'a fucks," Sakura felt as well as heard her father's warning growl. "Ok, ok I mean dates. So long as it's not my teacher. S' just weird knowing you and him are doin' stuff. And," Sakura paused with a glass plate in her hand. "Mr. Uchiha's not used to guys like you."

"What do ya mean guys like me?"

"Ya know, hard, tough guys. Mr. Uchiha's sort of borin' so he's gonna like boring things. You can't wanna do the deed without going all out."

"What, ya mean like flowers, candy and shit?"

"I dunno, I do it for Ino sometimes, she says she likes it," Sakura slowly turned around with a cup in her hand, dripping water on the floor. "Daddy do you like _really_ like Mr. Uchiha?"

Naruto nodded without hesitation, "Yeah, he's just got this something about 'em I wanna try out."

Sakura sighed a final time, placing the cup in the bin to dry before wiping her hands on the t-shirt and letting the water drain out of the sink. She pulled a chair from beneath the table and straddled the same way as Naruto, "Then ya gotta act like you mean it. Don't treat this like its going to be a one night stand. If you really like him, you'll show him."

"Ya think so?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head thinking. He'd been out the dating game for about seven months since his last relationship. He'd thought things between him and Sora would work out but they just couldn't meet in the middle when it came the smallest issues. "So whatcha think I should do?"

Sakura smiled wide and bright, "I know just the thing." She surged up from her chair and hurried to her room, coming back just as quickly with a Cosmopolitan Magazine in her hands. "Here, on page 96 it talks about dating for men. Try some of these ideas. They're romantic, sweet and guarantee long relationships."

Naruto took the magazine, scanning some of the contents with a quick eye. Some of these, well, they seemed sort of off for his tastes, "You're sure?"

"Trust me Daddy," Sakura said confidently. "I tried all of these with Ino. I got laid three times in the same day."

"Ugh seriously Sakura have a heart will ya? I'm still your father. I don't wanna hear about you bumpin' kitties. Shit," Naruto took another look over the articles and nodded. "Alright, I'll give these a try. You go finish up your homework. And gimme your phone."

"Huh? Why?"

"What'd think this is? This ain't twenty one questions. Gimme your phone, wallet, and everything else you can search the internet on. You're still on punishment."

When Sakura didn't move, Naruto raised his hand about to swat her leg but she jolted up before he could reach her. "Daddy. . ." She pouted sadly. "Please?"

"Stuff, now. You're still grounded Sakura and your curfew's jacked up to nine o'clock."

"NINE?!"

"You wanna try eight thirty?"

"Ugh!" Sakura threw her hands in the air, stomping angrily to her room. "I hate you so much!"

"And bring me your Wii!" Naruto laughed quietly to himself, returning his gaze back to the magazine in his hand. There were at least several different things explaining the steps to take for dating the man of your dreams.

There was no guarantee Sasuke was that kind of man, but Naruto would just have to see.

* * *

**TBC: Sooooo . . . . how's that? Not bad for a sick girl in bed lol. **


	2. Preparations

**Author's Rant:** I really appreciate you guys. I hope you enjoy this next update ^_^

* * *

**Preparations**

* * *

Naruto didn't think it'd been smart in using his off day to prepare for Sasuke. He'd thought over and over again about his approach, the way he should respond and the skills the young folks used now and days to attract other. He'd gotten frustrated around six thirty in the morning after reading seventeen straight pages about wooing a potential partner in his daughter's magazine. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. It would've been easier getting someone to fuck and leave.

But. . . Naruto didn't want it to end with a '_see ya later'_ this time. He wanted a morning after, some breakfast and then the discussion of where it went from there. With Sasuke, he wanted it to be different. Naruto sighed, flinging the sinful romance article to the other side of his dinner table and reached up to squeeze the nasal pressure between his eyes. This was too much. He remembered, once upon a time, when all his daddy had to do was bring home some flowers, a box of chocolates and a kiss to get his mama going.

The shit ain't the same in this day and age. Just look at this shit. "Fuckin' ridiculous," he grouched, snatching the magazine back. You have to take into consideration the person's emotions, the way he sits, if he turns to the right he's into you, if his eyebrows lift up he finds you strange and just—Naruto concentrated hard at that particular part, "How the hell they gonna know if a man's horny by studyin' his kneecaps? The fuck they get this shit?"

See? Too damn complicated.

And those were just the basics. That didn't even include preparing for the main event. You had to pick a specific color shirt, chose the right flowers, pick out candy, cologne, "Shit, we might as well get married."

Sakura entered the kitchen to hear the last bit of her father's words. She saw his face angled down into her magazine, chin perched on the back of his knuckles and a hard frown on his face, "You still readin' that Daddy?" She said, going to the refrigerator for eggs, turkey bacon and orange juice. "I recommend page 119."

Naruto lifted his head to respond, and chewed back his words after seeing Sakura's current school attire. He lowered the magazine, closed his eyes and counted to ten twice before saying, "Sakura."

"Yes Daddy?"

Naruto looked again to be absolutely sure of what he was looking at. Here was his fifteen year old daughter wearing a blinding lime green mid drift tank, some daisy duke shorts with a print of Mickey Mouse on the right pocket of her ass, a pair of striped neon pink, black and white, knee high socks, low top black Air Forces, and all of her long pink hair in a high ponytail to show the three black earrings in each ear. Naruto blinked and sat back stunned. Was he drunk the last time he allowed his daughter to go shopping?

He shook his head, "Sakura what are you wearin'?"

"What? Oh this? Jus' somethin' I found in the back of my closet."

"Well shit, where's the rest of it? In your room?"

"Daddddddy ugh," Sakura slapped a piece of butter in the skillet before cracking the eggs in with it. "Everyone's wearin' Punk now. Get with it. Why are you so old?"

Naruto looked offended, "I'm not old and you've lost your damn mind if ya think you're walking outta here like some dime store hoe. Go change."

"Why the hell I gotta change?!"

"Cause' my foot's gonna find a new place in your ass if you don't. Go change Sakura. Now!"

"Fine, cook your own breakfast!" Sakura smacked the spatula on the countertop, and stomped out of the kitchen grumbling.

"Whatcha' say?" Naruto shouted.

"Nothin'!"

"That's what I thought, badass lil' heifa'," The magazine reading would have to wait. Naruto went to take over the cooking of breakfast, making enough for himself and his children. The bacon was lift to sizzle in the pan and the eggs placed in a side plate while he went to knock on Sakura's door to hurry up and to go wake his son.

Getting this child to wake up for school was hell. Kyuubi Uzumaki was playful, adoring, sweet, and charming. But when it came to waking up from his beauty sleep, this boy took frustration to a whole new level.

Naruto opened the door to his son's room, a personal land of football, race cars and basketball, the overwhelming traditions of a toddler boy. Toy trucks and cars littered the red and white checkered carpet, installed by Naruto himself and crayon drawings were scattered everywhere. There was one drawing of Kyuubi feeding apples to a puppy and another of him, Sakura and Naruto holding hands under a green sun.

That's his boy. Imaginative as ever and sweet as can be. Naruto sat on the edge of Kyuubi's twin bed and lightly reached out to push back his head of long red hair. Just like his sister, he came out another surprise when he'd been dating Karui. Sakura had been around eleven at the time and instantly took to Karui. She and Naruto had a comfortable relationship, nothing to stressful, nothing too serious. She had her life together and they, in a way, fit. That and the fact Naruto had gone through a couple of years of having a crush on the dark skinned beauty. She had gorgeous long red hair and amber eyes like a feline that glowed when up to no good. Oh and what a firecracker she was in bed.

Naruto had had a world of fun with her until they'd realized that they suited each other better as friends. By then, it'd been too late. She'd called Naruto a couple of weeks later to confess she was pregnant. It hadn't mattered to him. Naruto planned to be there from start to finish, just like with Sakura. He was a done deal when he held his red haired son. As soon as he opened his bright blue eyes, that was all she wrote. Naruto didn't have a problem signing his name on the dotted line as the father of Kyuubi Kurama Uzumaki.

As he grew his skin darkened, his face angled more like his mother's and that hair refused to stop growing. But that smile, that bright sunny smile, yeah, that was all Naruto.

Karui had moved on with her life, one that couldn't include Kyuubi as often as she wanted. Being an inspiring dancer came with sacrifices, but she did what she could to check on her son, Sakura and Naruto's wellbeing whenever the chance was granted. At least Kyuubi knew his mother. That was enough for Naruto at least.

"Come on son, time ta' wake up." Naruto gave the boy a little shake and nudge on his feet. "Ya gotta eat and get ready for school."

"Hmm," Kyuubi flipped on his other side, burying his face against his pillow. "Noooo."

"Yes son, get up." Naruto turned his son around and lifted his shirt. Before Kyuubi knew what was going to happen, he woke with a shout and squeal. Naruto pressed his lips against his tummy and started blowing loud, squishy raspberries.

"No Daddy no! S-s'op it!" Kyuubi squealed again and again, smacking his palms against Naruto's head to shoo him away. "S'op it, s'op it! Quit it Daddy!"

"Nope, ya gonna wake up?"

"Daddy, quit it! I wakie, I wakie!"

Naruto showed mercy after one final blow and sat up. "Get up lil' man." Naruto stood, had barely gotten away from the bed when he heard a soft snore coming from his son. "Son of a gun," Naruto should've known that first attempt would fail. It always ended like this. He pushed off the blankets and picked up his son. Kyuubi tucked his face in his daddy's neck, sound asleep.

Naruto knocked on Sakura's door. "Sakura, you decent?"

"Yeah!"

Naruto went in, and felt better at this new outfit. A grey and yellow wide neck sweater, some torn blue jeans and a pair of white flip flips, "Can you get your brother ready for school?"

"Sure, he fell back asleep huh? Told ya you should've tickled him like you did me," Sakura whispered, easing Kyuubi from Naruto. "I'll get him ready. Is breakfast almost ready?"

Oh shit. Naruto nearly forgot. "Yeah, lemme go check." He tried not to sprint back when the smell of burnt bacon started breezing through the house. "Please don't be burnt, please don't be burnt." He chanted all the way down the hall, through the living room and into his kitchen.

Well.

Good news was he didn't find the food burnt. What he did find were two extra bodies, one at his dinner table and one at the stove, enhancing the size of breakfast for five instead of three. The thump in Naruto's chest relaxed. The father inside him was about to run back to his bedroom for his 9mm, but the best friend and godfather inside said to kill his family later.

"Damn, could'cha knock before helpin' yourselves in? You almost caught a bullet in your asses."

Naruto's partner at All American Homes Construction, drink buddy and best friend, turned bored red eyes in his direction. There he stood, tall, lanky as a popsicle stick, short gray hair and chewing a toothpick in the corner of his mouth. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt tucked in and some tube socks. Naruto had been friends with Hidan for nearly ten years, after the man helped him get a job at the construction company to support Sakura. Since then Naruto clung to the man like glue so he could learn as much as he could. Then there was the thing with Hidan having a child of his own from a previous marriage, the young man currently sitting at the kitchen table reading a novel.

Naruto knew the marriage between Hidan and Tsunade didn't stand a chance. The two were too wild and high stung. He remembered Hidan saying the only reason they lasted as long as they did was for the sex. Otherwise, it was a meltdown waiting to happen.

Hidan switched from the pan of eggs to the other cooking hot sausages and more bacon, "Ya outta be happy I came over here to visit, ya ungrateful asshole. Kakashi go get ya sister and brother ta' school 'fore I knock your teeth out!"

The eighteen year old took his precious time, leafing through three pages of his book before a hard look from Hidan had him standing and leaving. "Must you threaten me for every little order Dad? A simple go do it would suffice. Pop said you should cut me some slack."

Hidan held up a blade, "You still here?"

"No, I'm gone," Kakashi stood up, slow as a molasses and went towards the hall, lifting his head to Naruto before disappearing to Sakura's room.

Naruto couldn't stop the chuckle from coming, "Why ya givin' Kakashi such a hard time?"

"'Cause the lil' shit's got a boyfriend and he won't tell me who he is. I tried to have that talk wit' 'em ya know?" Hidan's frustrations were leaking out bit by bit and when this happened, he tended to go overboard with whatever project he was doing. Like now, not only were there going to be bacon, eggs, and hot sausages for breakfast, there were going to be Belgian Waffles, buttered toast and grits. "Guess what this lil' motherfucka did? Go on ask."

Naruto retook his seat at the table, folding his arms across the surface, "What'd he do?"

"He went and told Zabaza what I said!" Hidan flipped a couple of pancakes around in the frying pan, before dramatically waving around the spatula to tell his story. "He was pissed about me trying to teach my son how to use a condom, talkin' about how Kakashi was old enough to know how a dick worked or some shit. Well if the motherfucka knows how to _fuck_, then he knows how to get the _fuck_ outta my house! Ain't paying a bill in there anyway."

"That's rough man."

"Tell me about it. All he does is eat, sleep, shit and go out all hours of the night. And does he offer to pay anything? Hell no," By now there was a bowl of oatmeal being poured in five separate bowls. "Ya know what Kakashi said to me? Said I was too old to know how to fuck. And I'm like, boy don't you know your scrawny ass was swimmin' around in my nut sack before you knew how to spell dick?! How the fuck you think you got here? The fuck outta here. I almost caught a case." At the end of his rant, Hidan set the table for five, five plates of hot delicious food, smoking wonderfully in the air. Naruto got up to fish out some orange juice and apple juice for Kyuubi.

Kyuubi came running down the hallway making air plane noises with his lips, twirling in circles and spinning and dropping and laughing. "Sakura, Kakashi, get your asses in here!" Hidan hollered.

The pair came out, Sakura rolling her eyes and Kakashi's face still buried in his book. Everyone sat down to have the southern style breakfast, making small talk and discussing a little bit of everything there was to talk about with school, work and other things. Most of the conversation Naruto and Hidan couldn't relate too when Sakura and Kakashi talked because it involved a lot of events at school. Kyuubi was too busy making a mess with the maple syrup.

After breakfast Sakura and Kyuubi kissed their father good bye and left so Kakashi could drive them all to school. Now alone Naruto could pinch the older man's ear for some advice. When it came to relationships, especially with men, Hidan knew enough to help. Especially since him and Zabaza had been married for nearly twelve years. Obviously they knew something about making their relationship work for this long.

"The fuck is this?" Hidan grabbed the Cosmopolitan Magazine from the corner of the table, where it was saved on _Ten Ultimate Signs He's Into You_. Hidan looked at the magazine, then at the younger blond, a little freaked out. "Now I know Sakura's pretty much a pussy kisser so this can't be for her. That either means Kyuubi's comin' out earlier or," Hidan read over it again. "You're learnin' that a man's into you when his what? His eyes twitchin'?" Hidan threw the magazine across the room like it revealed a strand of AIDS. "Hell naw that means he ain't got any business bein' outta a strait jacket. Why are you readin' that?"

Naruto wiped his hands over his face, "Sakura said it'd be an easy way to get back into the datin' game."

"What's there to know? You ask, you screw, they go home, the end."

"No, no, not this time around. I like this guy and I wanna have something different." Naruto sat back in his chair ready to let it all out. He retold the whole story about meeting Sasuke at the meeting to talk about Sakura, and how he practically told his daughter's whole history and even asked the guy out. Since yesterday all Naruto's done is think about the man's seductive smirk and the way he flirted right back with him. Those eyes were made for clouding up with lust. And that pale face? Just like an undisturbed bowl of milk. Naruto vaguely wondered what Sasuke's face would look like scrunched up when his spot was hit just right.

Damn he needed to get laid.

"So lemme get this right, you wanna date this man, yeah?" Hidan concluded after reading the entire story.

"Right."

"And ya think it's romantic to see his eyes twitch and, what else that thing said? Watch his knee caps buckle?"

Naruto dropped his head on the table, "I don't know what the hell I'm doin'."

"You sure as hell don't if ya gettin' turned on my knee caps and shit. Look, this is gonna sound like a corny ass line, but why don't you try bein' a lil' traditional. Ya know, candies, flowers, the whole nine." Hidan threw his thumb at the discarded magazine. "All that's gonna teach you is how to scare the man across town. He ain't gonna care about you starin' at his knee caps and thick eyebrows and whatever the hell was in there. Just be you."

"I don't know if being me is gonna cut it with this guy. You haven't seen him Hidan. He looks like crystal china. Skin smooth as silk, a face like a super star and damn he had an ass outta this world. I wanna settle down. I'm sick of playin' the game."

"Yeah, I know how that is," The forty five year old sunk down in his chair, rubbing under his nose. "I remember when I realized I was in love with Zabaza. It scared the hell outta me ya know? I thought I was sick 'cause my stomach kept hurting, my face got hot and all I thought about was his violent ass."

In love? What? No Naruto wouldn't call it that. Well not yet. It's just . . . when he saw Sasuke it was something to that effect. Maybe the explosions of fireworks, dynamite and flowers blooming . . . close enough.

Damn. "What happened when you told him?"

Hidan paused, and then chuckled, "Man, Zabaza kicked my ass. No, I'm serious. He beat the hell outta me for taking three years to say it to him but after that whew lord have mercy. Babe went all out. I couldn't walk, he couldn't walk. We just laid in bed and chilled. We had our dicks so far up—"

"Yeah, Hidan damn, TMI." Like he wanted to know how a couple of old men got down.

"Anyway, all I can say is be you. Your eyes were all shiny when you were talkin' about this guy you know? Like he did some voodoo on ya or something."

He might have. Because now, all Naruto did was think about Sasuke, what Sasuke was doing, where he was doing it, was he as nervous a Naruto was for this Saturday, would he want to continue the relationship on from there?

And what's crazy . . . Naruto never had this strong pull for there to be a after morning with any of his previous flings. With Sasuke, it was different. He wanted to wake up to see those sleep black eyes open, to see that tired smile, to feel his warm curled against his body.

"Shit," Naruto covered his face with his hands. "I'm done Hid'."

Hidan patted his friend's back, "It happens to the best of us, kid."

* * *

Why had he called them over again? Once of them was a block of ice with no eyebrows and red hair. And then there was the other one, nosily going through his belongings. The second one, Sasuke had to ask himself more than once why he'd called him over when all he'd done thus far is reject all of his ideas.

"How's this?" Sasuke emerged from his closet dunned in a pair of jet black dress pants and a cashmere cream sweater.

Gaara kept his eyes glued to the television watching the reruns of Matlock. That was the first obvious rejection. Now for the other. Sasuke turned in circle for his other, difficult-to-please friend and waited until his bright blue eyes came up from the fishing magazine he had stored in his dresser drawers.

Deidara tossed the magazine God knows whether and let his single visible eye look Sasuke over. As expected, an automatic snort blew from his lips, "You do know it's about eight five degrees outside? Unless this Naruto person's into heat casualties, hey, I say go for the gold. Heat stroke victims have been known to turn on the dead."

Ok strike five. Sasuke flipped the sweater off and into the pile with the rest of the discarded clothes. "A few ideas would be appreciated."

"Just as soon as you let me in your closet sport, we're in there." Deidara called from the bed.

Bad idea. Sasuke wouldn't mind allowing the wild blond access into his walk in closet. No really, he wouldn't mind at all. It's just when Deidara went through anyone's clothing, he had a tendency to believe everyone needed to go through the exact same fashion treads as him. This guy changed fashion more than a woman went through a pair of panty hoses. Today everyone was lucky to see the blond actually wearing a shirt AND some bottoms. Today he was decked in a sleeveless tiger print mid drift, some leopard patterned shorts and cobra print sandals.

Those poor animals hadn't stood a chance.

Sasuke remembered coming home to his own person Africa in his closet and the day after that, he might as well had gone blind from all the neon t-shirts and highlighter beach shorts for men and women.

No. No. Never again, "I'll pass." As much as a fashion tyrant Deidara was, he had the best fashion and dating advice next to Gaara's nonverbal honesty. Sasuke was going to need a little more than a nod or shake.

Sasuke pulled down another set of clothes, put them on and came out to display.

Gaara didn't bother to turn around, so this was also a no.

Deidara lifted his head from one of Sasuke's sock drawers and rolled his eyes, "Someone call the Fashion Police, Madonna's trying to go gangster. Serious meltdown Sasuke. If you walked out of wearing that, I'll never let you walk next to me again."

"Whatever," Sasuke grumbled. What exactly was wrong with what he was wearing? He tugged at is grey pin stripped vest and glanced around at his black dress pants. The long sleeve button up was a little much, but he didn't want to come off as too late in his age. Then there was the fact of getting his place ready.

For goodness sakes he lived in a single bedroom apartment with mostly dark colored furniture, onyx colored counters and tiles in the bathroom and kitchen, and black cabinets. So what was wrong with having mostly black surroundings? He found the color transfixing and dashing. The first time Deidara had saw it, he'd threatened to run to the paint store and pull a Wonder Woman on everything.

Sasuke's wardrobe was no different. Nearly everything was white, grey or, of course, black.

Well, except.

Sasuke went back inside his closet to change. Later, he came out in a powder blue V-neck shirt, some khaki cargo shorts, and sky blue sandals, all of it an outfit courtesy of his brother in law, a fashion psycho on the DL. Sasori had insisted he buy Sasuke an outfit for a trip to Disney World last year and came back with this. It was an outfit Sasuke hadn't minded wearing, except when he arrived, his older brother Itachi was wearing the exact same thing.

This time, Gaara looked away from the TV, actually muting the show to have a faceless stare at Sasuke's outfit. His eyes switched from side to side, up and down, than focused on Sasuke's face. Sasuke held his breath, "This one's good," Gaara said before going back to the television.

"Hm?" Deidara came back from the kitchen eating a bowl of green grapes and nearly dropped the bowl. "Well," he looked Sasuke up and down. "This is new. Yeah, seeing you out of the death scene works wonders. I like this. Turn around."

Sasuke did.

"Hold out your arms."

Sasuke did.

"I like it, not bad," Deidara thought circling Sasuke, poking him in certain places. "Lemme check something."

He turned Sasuke around, keeping the dark haired man oblivious to what was about to happen.

Deidara raised his hand and slapped his palm against Sasuke's butt, hard as hell too. Sasuke rose to the tip of his toes and scrambled away, horrified and violated.

Deidara opened and closed his palm, looking at the center like there was a written message inside.

"What the hell was that for?" Sasuke said.

"Well I had to see if those things kept your butt from the Jiggle Twitch."

"The jig-what?"

Deidara sighed, face palming, "The Jiggle Twitch. _The Jiggle Twitch._ If your pants aren't tight enough no one can see the bounce of your ass. Read Sasuke. It's in Cosmo Girl. No man wants an ass that doesn't move a little. How do you think I keep Neji coming home? It sure as hell ain't my home cooking! You should see him in the bedroom. You'd never guess with that face he was so bloody savage. I swear the man's a fucking animal. He loves to slap it, smack it, rub it, I mean damn. We might as well be making pancakes . . ."

Gaara turned off the TV, grabbed his keys, his wallet and left the bedroom.

Sasuke dropped on his bed and covered his face with his pillow, trying his hardest to drown out the rest of Deidara and Neji's freaky sex life.

There were only two days before the date and Sasuke was nowhere near ready. All he had was a mute friend, a sexual explosive blond friend, and no clue how to impress Naruto. This guy was a walking lust machine. Sasuke wanted so bad in that class room to pull that shirt off to see if the man was truly tanned all over and built like the shirt emphasized. He could imagine everything. The contrast of Naruto's darker skin against his pale skin, the way he might taste, the scent of his body beneath his, just, just damn he was flawless.

And a little older.

Sasuke had no idea how he was going to impress the single father nor how to keep the relationship flowing.

That part he wanted more than anything after meeting Naruto. Seeing him seemed to awaken that old side of Sasuke that figured he'd have to be the traditional man who had to marry a woman and have children that way. With Naruto, he came with the whole package.

Sasuke wanted more than a one night stand. It was strange, thinking about this man as often as he'd been doing since yesterday. Whenever Sasuke saw the sunshine, he immediately thought of how the heavens would be jealous of the natural brightness Naruto possessed. He was real, he was perfect, had a smile worth seeing every day and—damn Sasuke had it bad. What the hell could he do?

His cell phone—flip phone—started buzzing from the nightstand. Sasuke patted around until his fingers brushed against the little tool and pulled it around to eyeball the screen.

That's when it hit him like a ton of bricks. Why hadn't he thought it before? If you wanted to impress an older man, why not ask one?

The screen flashed Itachi Uchiha several more times before Sasuke opened the phone and answered with his first smile since yesterday.

* * *

**TBC: Guys the pairing positions is in the summary. I'm NOT going to write it in every chapter when its out in plain view. That'd be redundant.**


	3. Advice

**Author's Rant: **If there are some mistakes I'm sorry. I'll proofread later but I'm tired as hell. Enjoy!

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**Advice**

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It seemed like a good idea at the time, talking to Itachi. Of course, the idea did seem wonderful in thought and theory but actually see ing his poised, always-perfect elder brother seemed to set off a range of emotions in Sasuke. For starters, whenever the two attempted to be civilized to one another it always became a competition of sorts. When they visited their parents, they'd secretly and with proper manners of course, try to eat as much of their mother's dinner as possible without throwing up.

On those times they decide to go shopping together, Itachi would come decked out in whatever new brand of clothing he could find and Sasuke would come out in whatever his teacher's salary could afford, because hey, he refused to live off his father's monstrous income like some people. Then there were the few times while in college, with Sasuke as a freshman and Itachi working on his Master's early, because he just had to be a prodigy, they'd compare boyfriends.

Naturally, once again, Itachi always gained the upper level of those sticks because all of his boyfriends were fabulously beautiful, had money, nice cars and could fuck a horse to sleep. How did Sasuke know? Itachi made sure to fuck them right next to his dorm room, because why? He was an Uchiha and they had wonderful connections like that.

This was the typical behavior of Uchiha brothers. Always outdo the other so you could have something to laugh at when your children were born and watch the next generations carry on the nonsense.

When Sasuke arrived to Itachi's mansion, he bypassed the lion statured fountain, the cleanly manicured lawn and waved at the six gardeners prepping grass bushes with black roses. It was too much, yet the estate sparkled beautifully during a sunny day as splendid as this. The front doors were Ambella Glass Doors, Victorian style naturally and stained with black on the right door with letter I and the other with U.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and knocked twice, rocking back and forth on his heels. He gave the entire property another sweep when Itachi's amused voice tickled his ears, "Don't gaze about like a commoner, little brother. You should be used to fine accommodations by now."

"Hello to you too Itachi," Sasuke mumbled, helping himself inside the oversized fortress. Itachi was dressed in a red and black rimmed velvet robe with a black handkerchief winking from his breast pocket. He simply refused to look the part of a pauper. Compared to Sasuke's simple black turtle neck and gray pants, Itachi radiated millions.

This was different from what Sasuke saw last time he visited. This month's theme was a Spanish themed interior. Really, this was ridiculous. Itachi was just wasting money because the stuff packed in the bank. The furnishing was tan and cream, the lines of the walls colored a deep rose red and the carpet a deep tope. Sasuke gave the room a spin around and couldn't help shaking his head. Even the winding stairwells had a new design.

"I don't appreciate that reaction," Itachi said from behind.

Sasuke refused to fake the funk, "Why do you go through these phases every month? Last month it was Chinese, the month before that was Victorian and before that, American. Did it ever occur to you, maybe, touchdown a little of home?"

"Our roots are divided Sasuke. A little Japanese and a hint of Spanish. I did have an idea of our culture when I did this design."

Sasuke snorted, "That bloodline's so drained it barely counts." But that was an argument for another time. "Where's Sasori?" Might as well see if this conversation would be private.

"In the study, working."

"On what? He doesn't have a job."

Itachi beckoned for Sasuke to follow him into the living room suite. He snapped his fingers and pointed down to two empty wine flutes. A servant came scurrying from God knows where and filled the flutes with crisp, white wine.

Itachi grabbed his share and flicked his wrist at the servant, "Go away," he said before taking a sip.

"You should be kinder to the hired help," Sasuke stiffly said, taking a sip of his wine and cozying down on the armchair. This wasn't that bad.

"He's hired to help and being paid to do it. That's kindness in its own interpretation," Itachi sat the glass down and neatly leaned back against the couch, crossing his legs and fingers. "Enough of that now. You wanted to discuss this Uzumaki fellow, did you not? What about him?"

Sasuke paused, twirling the clear contents in his glass, "He's older than me. It's been a while since I've dated anyone. I wouldn't know where to begin with him."

"And you wanted your elder brother's advice on the proper methods of dating a gentleman," Itachi deduced on his own, nodding. "Describe him to me."

Where could Sasuke begin? He placed his flute on the table and leaned forward, cupping his hands between his knees, "He's different, very blunt and flirtatious. I never met someone as. . ." What's the word? "Naturally bright as him. He has this wild blond hair, a great smile and eyes this sharp blue. I've never seen anyone with eyes that shade. They were endless."

Itachi smirked, picking up his glass, "And where did you meet him?"

Here was the punch line, "When I was lecturing his daughter," Itachi unfortunately chose that moment to drink his wine and started to choke as soon as the word daughter came into play. Sasuke didn't bother to help him and let the fool save himself. "On behavioral issues in class." He finished when Itachi collected himself.

Itachi cleared his throat, wiping at his mouth with a napkin brought by the same servant, "You teach the tenth grade. Sasuke he has to be at least in his forties. Far too mature for you and even myself."

"He's in his early thirties," Sasuke deadpanned, bored. "And yes I know what grade I teach. His daughter's Sakura Haruno - Uzumaki."

"Wait, I'm sorry," Itachi lifted his hand up to massage between his eyes. "You say he's the father of that juvenile delinquent? The one Metro-bound?"

Sasuke hid a small smile. That was the first time he'd heard Itachi slip up in his vocabulary in ages. That meant he wasn't all that keen on the idea as much as he'd thought he'd be and that meant Sasuke was all the more eager to go on his date with Naruto.

"Sasuke you can't be serious. He has a child."

"Two."

"Two children," Itachi gave his head a tiny shake and leaned back, re-crossing his legs and staring at the paintings of dragons, and angels. "Sasuke, of all the—are you rebelling against us or something?"

Sasuke frowned, "Rebelling?"

"You could have anyone you wanted. You have women tossing their under garments to you, men praising the ground you walk and yet you want to settle for such poor quality. Are you angry?"

"Am I angry—what the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Father's already delicate with the fact that both his sons are homosexual, but to have one of them sowing his oats with a single father of two?"

Sasuke felt every hair on his body bristle, "You haven't met him, and you can already label him as _low quality_?"

"I needn't meet him to describe his personality. From what you've said, he's brass, some sort of hot blooded pimp, obviously a terrible father to have someone like Sakura running about untamed. We deserve only the finest—"

"And who are you to distinguish who is and who isn't worthy to date an Uchiha?"

Sasuke and Itachi both turned around towards the hall entrance. Sasori emerged, eyes half lidded and yet reflecting sparks of disappointment in his husband. How him and Deidara were best friends still frightened the hell out of Sasuke because even if they were tacky design freaks, Sasori was recluse and quiet and calm. Today he toned down his clothing obsession to a basic powder blue sweater and jet black jeans.

"I am an Uchiha and as such, I am entitled to declaring who is and who isn't capable of holding their own against us," Itachi said as he guided Sasori's out reached hand around to sit beside him. "Dearest, I'm sure you've heard enough to understand why I'm against this."

"I've heard more than enough, Itachi and think you're being ridiculous. Sasuke's established himself as someone more than able to take care of himself. If this Uzumaki person is who makes him happy, he should be allowed to explore it beyond," Sasori patted Itachi's hand and turned to Sasuke. "Deidara's caught me up on most of the details. I'd love to meet this Naruto."

"Dearest please, don't encourage this. Sasuke deserves better," Itachi softly stressed.

"Need I remind you how it is we came upon each other? I had no family, no home, not a penny to my name. I lived outside your business for three weeks and you took it upon yourself to bring me here. Where's the quality in a homeless bum?"

"Homeless you were, bum you were not. I found my diamond in the rough," Itachi fingered away some of Sasori's red banes, touching his eyes, his cheeks, his forehead and lips until finishing on the curve of his neck. "That's hardly the same."

Sasori leaned into his palm, "This may be the opportunity for Sasuke too. Your father hardly counted me as Uchiha worthy, yet you defended me. Let him discover what's right for him." Then a deadly frown overcame Sasori's face. "Otherwise it's going to be a chilly few nights in Alice's wonderland."

Itachi paled.

And Sasuke refused to miss this chance and laugh. A long, nice warm laugh that earn him a glare from Itachi and a wink from Sasori.

"If you want to impress an older man, there's nothing to it Sasuke," Said Sasori. "Only do what you do best as yourself and all will fall into place on its own. Faking anything will only create an extra role for you to play."

Well that was true. Maybe Sasuke was worked up over it because, it's been forever since he went on a proper date. The whole point of a date was to get to know each other right? Sasuke decided whatever happened, happened. They weren't magically expecting a marriage and happily ever after. The date was tomorrow, so all they could do was hope for the best. Sasuke nodded to himself and stood, "Thanks Sasori." He glare at Itachi and smiled at Sasori before helping himself to the front door.

"Oh Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

This was the creepiest Sasori has ever looked, "Its 2013, brother in law. By all means, fuck on the first date."

Sasuke was long gone.

* * *

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface  
Don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes  
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)_

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there_  
_Become so tired, so much more aware_  
_I'm becoming this, all I want to do_  
_Is be more like me and be less like you_

Naruto thought his house was on the verge of collapsing in a sink hole when he walked in, only to discover both his children in the living room air guitaring and shouting the music lyrics at the top of their lungs. Sakura had her pink hair wind milling in a wild circle, jerking her hands back and forth. Little Kyuubi had no idea what he was supposed to do, but bless him; he was trying his best to keep up with his big sister.

Naruto stood in the background, watching the spectacle and silently amused at how patient Sakura was with her little brother. Kyuubi would ask if he was doing it right and she'd show him a better, easier way to do it. What Naruto didn't appreciate was Sakura letting Kyuubi's ran hang all over the place, knowing good and damn well that boy's head got tangled easily.

That's fine though because he was going to make her ass comb the knots out. "Yo, daddy's home, so turn down the music!"

The volume instantly died to a dull roar before the soft pitty pat of feet came stumbling in the kitchen. "Daddy!"

Naruto caught the little tike as soon as he rounded the corner, "What's up son? How was school today?"

"Good, I counted dis' many today." Kyuubi held up all of his fingers. "And I say my ABCs too."

"Whatttt? You did your ABCs and 123s? My son's a lil' genius" Naruto kissed Kyuubi's bubble cheeks before putting him on the floor. "Go pick out some nighties." He patted Kyuubi's butt to hurry along and went about putting away the groceries he bought in.

Sakura came in, thank God, wearing a gray off-the-shoulder t-shirt and dark red hip huggers. "Hey daddy," She kissed Naruto's cheek and started opening the paper bags to see what he bought. "What's for dinner tonight?"

"Whatever I bought," Said Naruto.

"Meooowwww, attitude? Sheesh," Sakura emptied some the bags and started putting away the foods. "What's got your panties shit-stained?"

Naruto sighed, shaking his head, "Sorry baby, I'm just tired. Work's been crazy. And tomorrow's the big day." If he were being honest that was the whole grit of it all. Work was stressful because all day he'd been thinking about what would happen between him and Sasuke. Naruto wanted everything to be perfect, he wanted a chance to explore where this relationship could go and—and shit he was whipped.

"Daddy why you stressin'? Everything's gonna work out, despite the fact that my step daddy might be my teacher," Sakura's face scrunched up. "When your date's over does that mean you're gonna fuck him here?"

Naruto swatted Sakura on the back of the head, "Come on kid, what'd I say? _Language_!"

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I'm just sayin'. Be smart daddy. Do I need to teach you how ugly it can get between two grown men?"

Naruto outright laughed, "Who's the father around here? I know what I'm gettin' into. Have a lil' trust in your old man."

"I trust this," Sakura tapped her daddy's head. "I just don't trust that." Then she pointed at his crotch. "Don't piss him off daddy, because it'll be me and Ino to suffer."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, did you finish your homework?"

"Almost. I had to help Kyuubi with his first. You know he's got a field trip coming up? They're going to the zoo."

"Yeah I already signed the permission slip."

The telephone suddenly buzzed to life. All three of them rung with different ring tones, the one in the kitchen programed to play Anita Baker's Sweet Love.

Obviously that wasn't what Sakura had stored because the look she gave Naruto could turn milk sour. "Really daddy? You wanna hear Anita over Beyoncé?"

"Don't worry about all that. Why is the phone still ringin' Sakura?"

"Because I haven't answered it yet," Sakura dip and dodged Naruto's hand before it could hit her and she dashed off laughing. The phone rang a fourth time before she picked it up. "Hello? Hello? Who is this? Ohhhhhh, ohhhh hey Mr. Uchiha. Yep, yep he's in the kitchen. You wanna talk to him? Why don't you wanna talk to me? I knew you longer than he did. I could use a dinner and dancin' too. I gave you two years of my life. Uh-huh, uh-huh yeah I guess it's true what old folks say about the magic wand or some shit—"

This time Naruto's hand struck him and slapped Sakura's ass, "Go help your brother take a bath!"

"Ok! You horny bastard! God did you have to hit me so hard?"

Naruto pushed her out of the kitchen and answered the phone, "Yo, Sasuke?"

Silence, then, "Did I call at a bad time?"

"No, no not at all. I was just puttin' up some groceries." Naruto switched the cordless phone to the other ear. "So how are things?"

"Fine, they're fine. I," More silence came through the phone, bar Sasuke's breathing, which Naruto could listen to all day. "I wanted to call and ask if you were fine with sushi and fried rice."

Naruto's face scrunched up tight at the sound of sushi, "I don't do so good with raw fish."

"It'll be fried," Sasuke quickly said.

"Oh, in that case I'm willin' to try anything. What should I bring?"

Sasuke chuckled, "Whatever you want, but I'm fine with you just bringing yourself."

"Oh really?" Naruto felt dirty enough to give it as good as that sounded. He checked over his shoulder to be sure he wouldn't scar his children and squeeze the receiver between his ear and shoulder. "So, whatcha' got on?"

Some shuffling brushed against the phone, "I'm not wearing anything right now."

Oh. Oh my. Well shit. "You want me that bad huh? I never took you for a nudist Sasuke."

"Hardly the case but I can say I want you," Some clothing rustled against the phone. The next chuckle came smoother, light as the tickle of feathers and very warm, "In so many ways. Maybe bent over my table, drizzled in yum yum sauce."

Yum yum sauce. Interesting. Naruto grin's was wide as a lotto winners', "That sounds temptin' but I had something along the lines of, ya know, you ridin' my dick or me fuckin' you against the wall."

"You can try, but I always get my way and I plan on having my way with you Naruto Uzumaki."

"I ain't a loose bitch sweetheart. Trust when I say, Naruto bends over for nobody. I'ma have your ass hittin' that A sharp better than Anita."

"So confident. I like that," Naruto could hear the saucy grin in Sasuke's voice. "Better yet, bring some red wine. It tastes better licked off."

Ohhhh shit, shit, shit. Naruto pumped his fist in the air, happy as hell to have found a closet freak. "You gonna lick me baby? What if I wanna have a taste of your sweetness?"

"We'll see, that is, if you're not too tired from what I'm going to do to you."

"I love when they play hard to _fuck_," Naruto growled softly, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. "Don't mess with the beast unless you ready for the fight. I'ma put the hurtin' on ya." Sasuke's laugh oozed off the phone like melted honey. "Laugh all you want but I swear I'm gonna fuck the dog shit outta ya—"

Naruto paused, horrified.

Poor, innocent, devastated Kyuubi stood in front of him wrapped up to his neck in an oversized terry towel, so that his little head was poking out at the top and his bare feet were cloth in a pair of rabbit house shoes. His red hair was soaked to his scalp and despite how adorable he looked; Naruto couldn't look beyond the horror written across his toddler son's face. His bottom lip quivered.

Naruto panicked. "Son I," Naruto looked worriedly between the phone and his son. "I didn't mean that."

"Daddy no, no," Kyuubi sobbed sadly. "You mean."

"Oh son no," Naruto swooped his son up and held him to his chest. "No, I'm not bein' mean. Daddy was just playin' around, mmkay?"

"But, you said-you said mean stuffs," Kyuubi whimpered. "You say you gonna fuck tha' dog sh't outta Mr. Uchiha, daddy. Why daddy, why?"

Good lord, what has he implanted in his son's head?

Sasuke's laughter could be heard from where Naruto placed the phone by the fridge. Naruto quickly hung it up, hiding his smile in his son's hair and mentally promised tomorrow to fuck all kinds of shit out of Sasuke's sexy ass.


	4. Lesson Learned

**Author's Rant:** 10,801 words and 24 pages. Holy shit. There is a lemon. Enjoy!

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**Lesson Learned**

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Naruto was so racked with nerves, he could barely hold it together when he got home after shopping with Hidan for most of the day. Kyuubi stayed glued to his daddy's hip the whole trip in the mall, refusing to walk. He was still upset about his daddy _fucking the shit out of someone_ and played his keeper.

They were currently navigating through Dillard's looking for an outfit that screamed expensive but could fool anyone into thinking it didn't come off the clearance rack.

"What about this one?" Naruto hiked Kyuubi up on his chest as he turned to hold up a red and white striped polo shirt.

Hidan circled around a clearance bar with a pair of dirty brown pants and khakis slung over his shoulder, "Hell naw, shit looks like something Kakashi would wear. Go shop in the grown folks section."

Naruto put the shirt back and continued on looking. This shit was too much trouble. He didn't understand why he couldn't just throw on the clothes he had at home. Hidan's crazy ass was hell bent on getting him some clothes meant for fucking. Naruto just wanted to look nice.

"I s'eepy Daddy," mumbled Kyuubi.

"I know son, just stick it out a lil' bit for me kay? We're almost done." At least he hoped so.

"Hey kid, check this out!"

Naruto and Kyuubi looked up.

Hidan was holding up a black long sleeved Ralph Lauren dress shirt, "What'cha think? It's got a dragon on the back too."

"Lemme see," Naruto walked up and took it, turning it around on the hanger and nodding his head. It wasn't a bad looking shirt. The cloth was made of satin cotton and there was a stitch of a massive platinum dragon with silver trimmings around the edge. Naruto tightened his arm around Kyuubi's side and turned the shirt over to check the price. His eyes bugged, "The fu—Hid' come on man. I'm not payin' $75 for a shirt."

"Say what?" Hidan snatched the shirt to check and sure enough the price read $74.95 on the red tag. "These folks done lost their got'damn minds. Hey lady!" Hidan beckoned over a woman with light red hair and brown eyes.

"Can I help you gentlemen today?" She smiled at the two men, seemingly pleased at having some very handsome customers to serve.

"Hell yeah, I wanna know what's the deal with this. Is this the marked down price? 'Cause that's false advertisement. The sign says an extra 40% off."

"It is sir. The price was already marked down from its original price."

"The fuck was it before? $200? Ain't this some shit. You can take this back, 'cause we ain't payin' that much for a shirt." Hidan thrust the shirt in the saleswoman's face.

She huffed, outraged, "Sir, I would appreciate it if you'd show a little more respect."

"I'm walking away ain't I? A disrespectful man would've turned this damn place up for having a shirt cost that much. That's a whole tank of gas!"

Naruto wished. He wished with his whole being he would've kept his mouth shut. Hidan was as cheap as they came and strictly old school. Never mind the fact his son wore these same expensive clothes every day. There were people starting to stare from every direction. As gradual as he could, Naruto eased back into the mass to blend in.

Hidan was his friend, brothers, thick as blood and tighter then rubber bands but if security came and tooted his ass out of there, he was going to learn how real their friendship really was.

Somehow, someway, they were able to leave without an incident report because Kyuubi chose that time to cry about needing to go to the bathroom. That tore Hidan away from breaking his foot in this woman's kitty. Through the whole three hour trip, the only clothes bought were for Kyuubi, some for Sakura, a few for Kakashi, some extra wife beaters for Zabuza and a pack of drawers for Hidan.

Not a damn thing was bought for Naruto.

When they arrived home, there were two extra cars in the driveway. The 2011 black Impala belonged to Kakashi and the other had Naruto chuckling under his breath. It was a candy apple red Aston Martin V8 Vantage sports car and the owner sat perched on the side with her arms folded and bright red hair braided to her scape in a dozen stylish cornrows and the rest fluffed up in the back.

His all-time favorite chocolate diva.

Naruto should've expected Karui to make an entrance sooner or later because he had no doubt Sakura ran her mouth to the woman about Sasuke. She was dressed fabulous as ever. Her dancing career turned her body into a work of art. She was wearing a bright yellow Baby Phat long sleeve mid drift tied above her navel, showing a belly button ring and some bright white capris and gold strapped sandals tied up to her knees.

What a diva indeed.

"Mommy!" Kyuubi squirmed to get out of his daddy's arms as soon as he caught sight of her and flew into her open arms.

"Damn," Hidan mumbled. "She ain't a changed a bit. I know they said milk did the body some good, but shit. She must be taken Nesquik ta' the head."

"I know right," Chuckled Naruto. "I know how to pick 'em." He hopped out of the car. "What's up babe?" Naruto eased Kyuubi from her arms and gave him to Hidan to take inside. "Now where's my hug?"

"Right here. It's good to see you sweetie," Said Karui, giving a warm embrace. "But why didn't you wait for me? I'm gone for a few months and I hear you already got someone else saddled up for that dick."

"Well, ya know how I do. Gotta have the fellas lined up. You know how it is." He laughed.

Karui did too, twirling a piece of her fluffy afro. She was quiet for a minute, staring at the yellow and pink nail polish on her toes. "Sakura gave me the 411 on this Sasuke guy. You really feelin' him like that?"

"Yeah, I am," Naruto said right away, a bit on the defense. "You didn't come all the way down here to raise hell did ya?"

"No, no, I'm cool. Just sayin'. You know how I am. I don't want strangers runnin' around my kids, is all."

"_My kids_, you gave up the mommy roll when you went to shake your money maker. Which by the way is," Naruto playfully swirled her around and smacked her ass cheeks. "Damn, looking like a set of peaches."

"Shut up," Karui swatted Naruto's arm, giggling. "Since we sharin' the love and all that. I might as well tell you I'm gettin' married next year."

"Oh lord, what's his name?"

"Sora."

"That dried up cum shot?"

"Like Sasuke's any better. From what Sakura said, you'd be better off stickin' your dick in a freezer."

"Chick please. You haven't seen Sasuke."

"I've seen the men you date Naruto. Trust me, I know I handled you better."

Naruto outright laughed, shaking his head, "You haven't seen Sasuke. Babe's got a crazy face, absolutely gorgeous and these eyes, and that voice, and shit his body. Karui, I swear if you saw him, you'd think the man was somebody off Vogue."

"Word?"

"Damn straight and he got an ass better than yours. Be jealous."

"Whatever, let's go inside before Sakura starts thinkin' I'm up for being step-mommy again."

The pair laughed and joked all the way into the house. Karui greeted Kakashi, Sakura and had to keep Kyuubi glued to her hip while everyone caught up with life's happenings. The afternoon wound down pretty fast with all the fun they were having. A little too fast for Naruto because as soon as the sun set his stomach was tickled with butterflies.

He had his children and friends in the bedroom with him, Hidan and Karui on the bed, while the kids sat on the floor with Kyuubi nestled between Sakura's thighs. She gave him a small cubic cube to play with while waiting for Naruto to emerge out of the closet.

No pun intended.

So far he's had a total of four outfits rejected and it was nearly time to go.

When Karui looked at the digital clock flashing 6:40 she threw her hands in the air and sucked her teeth, "Honey you are a mess. Something told me to come down here." She stomped out of the room, butt cheeks jiggling and Hidan and Kakashi's eyes following every bounce.

Like father, like son.

She came back five minutes later with a large paper Calvin Klein bag, "Men can't do shit. Ain't worth shit, can't dress for shit, just flat out worthless."

"You must've forgot you slept with a shitless man," Hidan grumbled.

"God is going to skin me alive for contributin' to this. Ain't a damn straight soul on earth? Is everybody gay? Open this damn door!" Naruto poked his head out just when Karui shoved her way into his closet and shut the door. "Strip," She ordered hotly.

"Fuck that, dinner first, drawers later."

"Fool _please_, take off your clothes. I bought a couple of outfits and I wanna see what they look like."

"Oh," Naruto took off his t-shirt, his jeans, socks and wife beater until he was in nothing but some silk orange boxers.

Karui stared a moment, giving his body a slow up and down. Naruto grinned sexily, flexing his chest and arms, "It outta be a crime huh?" He kissed his arm.

Karui rolled her eyes as she bent over to pull out some clothes. She came back around with a folded X-Fit navy dress shirt with a cream collar and some dark tan pants, some black low top Air Forces and a Rolex Watch.

"What's all this?" Asked Naruto.

"'_Come fuck me'_ clothes," She said simply. I swear honey if Sasuke don't jump your shit with these on in he needs to jump back in the closet."

"A watch too?"

"An expensive fuck."

"Oh." Well when put like that. Naruto grabbed the clothes and turned his back. For a few seconds he debated on whether or not he should start changing. When he looked over his shoulder, Karui was perched against the door with her arms folded and legs crossed at the ankles with a hard set of hazel eyes that said she wasn't leaving. "Close your eyes at least?" He snapped.

She flicked her wrist at him dismissively, "Been there, sucked that. You don't have anything I want."

Bitch was on the edge of his tongue, but Naruto knew better than to call a woman anything he wouldn't call his mother. Plus, he didn't have an ounce of shame in his body. He dropped his boxers and whipped around so that all of his caramel glory was on show for Karui to see and went about putting on the clothes.

The more he put on, the wider her grin became. By the time he was strapping on his watch, Karui's eyes were sparkling like the cat that got the cream. "Hmm mmm mmm," She hummed, smacking her lips. "I love a man in good clothes."

"I look good huh?" Naruto struck a pose.

"Better than that. You're almost fine." Karui reached in the bag for one more item and tossed it.

Naruto caught a medium Burberry cologne bottle and grinned, "Like old times?"

"Hey, if I don't fuck funky men, I'm sure Sasuke wouldn't either." Karui shoved off the door to turn the knob. "Time to present yourself."

She opened the door and out the pair walked. Kakashi and Sakura had started playing go fish with Kyuubi while Hidan was scouring through Naruto's personal items. Everybody was speechless when the blond came out and struck several seductive poses in the center of his bedroom.

Sakura whistled, "Oh daddy, you look good. Don't he Kyuubi?"

"Yep, my daddy look so good." He squeaked.

Kakashi gave his analysis with a casual up and down of his eyes, smile hidden behind his turtle neck sweater, "I'd fuck you."

"Like hell!" Hidan smacked his son's head and gave Naruto a quick look around. "It's a'ight." He shrugged. "I still think we should've got that other shirt."

"Probably something off clearance knowin' you," Chuckled Karui.

"We gotta shop within our paychecks lil' girl."

Naruto let the two have their little beef while he checked himself out in the mirror. Yeah—he turned—yeah, he did look good. Everyone else thought so as well. He looked good, he smelled good and he felt good.

Now the only thing left to do was see if Sasuke approved. But from the way Karui kept sneaking glances at his ass, Naruto was pretty sure he was in for the home run.

* * *

"Was it necessary for all of you to be here?"

Several pairs of eyes turned to focus on Sasuke. Neji's cool, lavender stare turned amused as he adjusted the sleeves of his tailored Calvin Klein blue dress shirt and crossed his legs neatly. "Should I have missed a golden opportunity as this? It's not every day my closest friend's younger brother goes on a date. With someone older no less," Neji chuckled, "Yes, it was necessary for me to come. The others, well, they have their own agendas," Here, Neji flicked his wrist at the rest of the group: Itachi and Sasori sitting next to him on the couch, Gaara sat at the dinner table watching Sasuke prepare his dinner meal and Neji's approaching lover.

"It's about time he aired out that wrinkled sack of his," Deidara slid onto Neji's lap, hugging his husband's head tight to his chest, "And when have I ever failed you, babes? I told you Sasuke had himself a man and look at 'em? Happier than a bumble bee. God, I could cry."

"Not on my shirt, love."

Deidara smacked his husband's arm, "I'm the one who bought you the shirt." He kissed Neji's forehead, casually stroking the brunette's long chocolate hair. "This reminds me of the time we went on our first day. It was so awesome. Wasn't it?"

Neji nuzzled his nose against Deidara's cheek, "I remember it quite well. The evening turned from pleasant to beastly."

"Yeah, I was a monster in bed."

"Absolutely vicious," Neji snuck out his tongue to prop the curve of Deidara's neck. "I'd rather most of our nights end like that."

Gaara gave the loudest throat clearing in the universe and pushed back his chair before disappearing into the kitchen. He found an empty spot next to the refrigerator and hopped on the counter to watch Sasuke move from one side of the kitchen to the other. Not once did his green eyes leave Sasuke's face. There was a smile there, small though it was, that shined as bright as a million watt light bulb. Gaara found the expression contagious and didn't realize it until his mouth was curling.

"You're excited," he stated. "Is he really that special?"

Sasuke pulled the oven handle back, feeling the hot flare fan him in the face. He chuckled to himself shaking his head, when Naruto popped in his head"He is.I never met anyone as forward as him."

"You were able to gather he was special from one conversation?"

Sasuke tried to convince himself that countless times it was more than that, but failed each time. It was based on the conversation and the fact of how Naruto cared for his children. It wasn't traditional, it wasn't a recommended technique shown in the books. Naruto took the bull by the horns and would run with it, no matter the results. With him, somehow he'd been able to tease Sasuke enough into being just as flirty and loose, damning the fact that he was his student's father.

Sasuke had had plenty of offers from parents, teachers, everyone around him. They flirted, some even better than Naruto. They just couldn't trigger the spark that this man could.

"You've never smiled this often before," Gaara's raspy voice mused from behind.

"You've never talked this much before," Sasuke countered. He grabbed the oven mitts from the cabinet and bent over to pull out his delicious fried sushi and oven baked dumplings. He placed the sheet pan on the marble counter, watching the sauces bubbling from the sauces drizzled over, and light cinnamon seasoning, sugar and buttered coated dough.

"You'll be careful won't you? You haven't dated anyone in ages Sasuke. Don't use this guy as someone just to cure your dry spell."

Sasuke rolled his eyes to the ceiling, "I liked you better as a mute. It's not like that Gaara. I want this to go beyond a quick fuck."

"So you plan to fuck him?"

"Damn straight," Sasuke deadpanned. "But I wanna make this as romantic as possible. There's going to be a _tomorrow morning_ if it kills me." Sasuke retrieved a dash of pepper, some soy sauce, a small tea cup of yum yum sauce and a dabble of wasabi from the refrigerator.

Kiss the motherfucking cook. Damn he was good.

Sasuke noticed Gaara's sly smile and ignored it for the most part as he went from every corner of the kitchen, getting things ready to go. Everything was nearly complete. He had an extra bottle of red wine chilling in the fridge, some strawberries cut and prepped in a bowl and some candles to light_. _Vanilla scented_. _Sasuke read some men enjoyed the smell of dessert, which he planned on making Naruto as soon as the blond got there.

Sasuke untied his apron, thinking and mumbling aloud about what he could be missing. His nerves finally cracked when he turned around and found Gaara still sporting that same out-of-character grin on his face. "What?"

Gaara shook his head, "It's good to see you smiling again." He said and slid off the counter to leave the kitchen. His hand grazed Sasuke's shoulder before he stepped out. "I'll leave you to handle business here. I have a date myself tonight."

"With who?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes."

Gaara's eyes deviously winked, "He's younger, with white hair and dark eyes. He's taller too and loves to read. I just bought him a new book the other day."

"Do I know him?"

"You will soon."

Gaara left without another word. Sasuke followed him out into the living room where he still had four extra stowaways to get rid of. Naruto was due to arrive any minute now.

"You aren't wearing that are you?" Deidara said, looking Sasuke's t-shirt and jean set with disdain.

"No, I already have my outfit set out."

Sasori snickered, "The outfit I bought him for Christmas."

Deidara gasped.

"No," Sasuke interrupted before Deidara went into a bitch fit. "I bought this outfit yesterday. I wasn't into the polo as much as I thought. Now, if everybody on this side of the door could get on the side before my date comes, I'd greatly appreciate it." Sasuke gave a two fingered salute and left to take a shower. He wasn't worried about the door being left unlock since all of them had a key to his home.

Which he hoped, Naruto wouldn't mind.

The blond probably assumed Sasuke was on a regular teacher's salary but by the time he rode up to 39th street, he was bound to figure out something. This was one of three houses Sasuke owned. This entire property was a personal favorite of his. It showed his appreciation of his Spanish roots from his father's side. The estate was lavished and lush with an even cut green lawn, and wrap around drive way.

The whole house itself was cream colored with rust colored tiles on the roof and edges of the windows. The outer patio was curved into the house, wrapped around half the house and a glass door. It was two stories tall and on the very top was an opening with a swing set made for two to stare at the open sky during the day or at night.

That's what Sasuke was hoping for himself and Naruto after tonight. As he showered and cleaned himself thoroughly, that was all that was on his mind. Sakura and Kyuubi having fun in his backyard, Sasuke's friends hanging with Naruto's friends.

Maybe he was moving a little fast . . . naw, fuck that. They were two grown men who knew what they wanted. Who needed to wait these days?

After he finished up showering, Sasuke came out the bathroom and rushed right back inside when he saw the company of four in his bedroom.

"What the hell?" He snapped angrily. "Privacy's the word!" He fixed a towel around his waist and walked out. Neji and Deidara sat on his bed with Sasori and Itachi was leaning against Sasuke's dresser, eyeballing him as he walked from the bathroom to his closet.

"Are you sure about this Sasuke? You could do so much better."

"I won't get any better than him. I don't want better than him. He's what I want." Sasuke recited for the fifth time that evening. "Accept it Itachi or get out, but this is something I want to try and see for myself." Sasuke retrieved a bottle of lotion from his dresser and started to rub it over his arms, legs, chest and other parts. When it came time to polish the goods, he cast a bored look over his shoulder and shrugged before the towel came down.

Sasori and Deidara wore impressed expressions while Itachi turned his head and Neji just watched. The entire time, Sasuke powdered himself down, lotioned himself and sprayed on cologne, Itachi went through a list of reasons as to why Sasuke should give this date some thought. Throughout that time, Sasuke ignored his brother and donned on his secret outfit.

A pair of white wash rocker biker straight leg jeans, a mid-sleeve body slim button front navy blue shirt with an embroiled design of a white and silver dragon across his back and down to his hip. Sasuke shook his head to give his slightly damp locks a more spikey style and separated his banes. The last bit of his outfit was a pair of white socks, because why the hell was he going to put on shoes in his own house? With that done, he gave himself a twist and turn in the mirror, than faced his friends with his arms out.

"How do I look?"

"Like somebody I need to leave Neji for," Deidara snapped his fingers in a zig zag. "Love it babes. Ouch, I was kiddin'," Deidara rubbed where Neji pinched his thigh.

Itachi sighed long and hard, "I honestly don't know what to do with you."

"Me either and I don't know why you bother—" Sasuke was cut off at the sound of the front door knocking.

Three seconds of silence later Deidara leapt from the bed and shot down the hall, "He's here!"

Neji caught his lover by the rim of his pants before he could open the door, "This residence says Uchiha not Hyuuga." Deidara pouted but obeyed.

Sasori and Itachi took the couch and Neji and Deidara shared the love chair.

Sasuke gave himself one final check over in the hallway mirror and took a deep breath. The butterflies were fierce as ever, nipping at his insides like needles. Dinner was ready, the house was clean, he was clean, he looked good as hell, and shit, he hoped the house was ok.

Sasuke made his way to the door, well aware that all eyes were on him. He checked the peep hole and saw only a shock of blond. Yes, that was definitely him.

He felt like a high school virgin on prom night.

"Open the got'damn door!" Deidara hissed angrily. "The fuck is he waitin' for?"

Sasuke shot a nasty glare before he opened the door.

There was Naruto.

He looked, damn, he looked amazing. His clothes were suction cupped to his entire body, his hair was untamed like a summer daisy and that smile of his turned Sasuke's insides to molten lava. "Hey," Sasuke leaned against the door, being sure to offer a sly grin. "You look good."

If possible, Naruto's smile doubled in lethality, "Yeah, so do you."

* * *

Naruto stood on the door step for five minutes. It was hard to believe his so called teacher was living in a swanky neighborhood like this. Up and down this entire zip code were homes about five times the size of Naruto's modest little home. Some of the drive ways had cars not even native to this country and spotless lawns. Pillars held up some Victoria Styled homes, others were classic English mansions and then he'd arrived to Sasuke's.

It looked like something straight out of the County Home and Living catalog. Naruto checked the address several times in his text to be sure and Google mapped it. Sure enough this was indeed the place only ten miles away from his home. He'd arrived at least ten minutes early. Who really arrived on time for a date? He'd re-straightened his shirt, loosened his belt and adjusted the spikes on his head. The blond hairs refused to cooperate so he settled with the down and wild look.

"Knock on the got'damn door!" Hidan yelled from the car and honked. "Folks got places to be and husbands to fuck!"

Naruto flipped off his best friend and rolled his eyes when Sakura and Kakashi burst out laughing. He thanked the heavens that Karui had decided to stay at his house to keep Kyuubi. Hidan wanted to drive because he hatched a guaranteed plan that Naruto had no choice but to spend the night.

Naruto took a deep breath, and knocked three times. He hoped he didn't look too eager. People arrived on time for dates now right? Or was it better to be fashionably late or some shit? That made him think twice about the bouquet of red and white roses in his hand and red wine in the other. Sasuke said to bring red wine, hopefully he wouldn't get offended with the roses.

"Oh Daddy, you so fine!"

Naruto turned around to shake his fist at his daughter while failing to hold back a hot blush.

The door opened and Naruto turned just in time to meet Sasuke's hauntingly beautiful self. Three ways to shit, this man before him was a totally different person from the teacher he'd meet just days before. Those clothes were doing him all kinds of justice and especially showing what exactly lied beneath them. Sasuke's snowflake skin was glowing and the inky black of his eyes reflected off the porch lights like raven wings.

"Hey," Sasuke leaned his shoulder against the doorframe. "You look good."

Naruto put on his best smile, "Yeah, so do you."

They stared, both taking in the sight of the other's presence as a starved man would savor the sight of a king's feast. Naruto wanted Sasuke to see the way his eyes roamed devilishly over his body: from the dipping white V of his shirt to the way his white jeans snugly hugged his legs. He just looked good enough to devour.

"Are those for me?"

Damn. Naruto was zapped into some kind of twilight zone. Sasuke's voice worked a hot trail of goosebumps down to his crotch like the caress of a feather. Had he always had a voice this deep? This-this sensual? Naruto cleared his throat, immediately getting his bearings underfoot, "Yeah, when I saw these, I had to buy them for you. And this," he held up the red wine. "Is to lick off your body. I believe your promised me a lil' taste of that mouth."

"We don't have to wait," Sasuke eased his fingers over Naruto's, taking the flowers and bottle from his hand, and in one move, pulling the older man to his chest. "I can let you have a taste now."

The kiss came slow and smooth as warmed honey. Naruto's eyes closed against the massage of cool lips pressed against his. Long, rough fingers came to clutch the front of his shirt and tugged forward. The brute force gasped his mouth open and gave Sasuke's propping wet tongue full opportunity to navigate inside.

"Mmm," Naruto, moved his hands to grip Sasuke's hips. Shit it was good. Every bit of his insides pooled like candle wax. Sasuke's thongue thrusts were calculative like a man in full control. Naruto didn't want that of course. He craved dominance and maneuvered his head so that his tongue could wrap around Sasuke's. The subtle growl in Sasuke's growl snuck through like a quiet storm. Naruto couldn't name a single person he'd known to kiss this damn good.

He was intoxicating. The smell of dove soap, the flavor of scope mouthwash and the scent of Axe were driving the blond crazy. His hands didn't know which part to grab as the kiss became aggressive. At one point his hands came up to tangle in Sasuke's still damp hair, then floated down to cup the plump of his ass.

"Holy shit," Naruto mumbled against the dark haired man's mouth. He kissed him again, speaking between kisses. "Never had it that good before."

"You probably won't either," Sasuke wickedly whispered back.

And to think, they were just in the doorway. Shit was going to get real hot tonight.

"You wanna invite them in?" Sasuke bumped his chin at the people Naruto had forgotten for still here.

He glanced over his shoulder and could've melted into the ground.

Both Sakura and Kakashi had their cell phones out taking pictures or recording. Hidan was out of his driver's seat with his mouth embarrassingly wide open.

"I'm tellin' the whole school you a freak Mr. Uchiha! I got this shit on camera! You grabbed my daddy's ass! Kakashi you saw that shit? He grabbed my daddy's ass! I'm tellin' Ino, Mr. Inuzuka, the whole fuckin' school. Even the janitor's gonna get a kick outta this!"

"Sakura!" Naruto snapped. "What I'd tell you about gettin' into grown folks business?"

"To hell with that, I'll risk that ass whoopin' daddy!" Sakura sunk back into the car, yelling "Drive, Unc' drive!" Hidan threw a two finger salute, hopped back in and whipped out of the drive way on two wheels. The air was polluted with the burned rubber, exhaust fumes and rocks ricocheting from under the tires.

Naruto sighed as he grinned sheepishly at Sasuke, "Don't worry. She can count on that ass whoopin' when I get home."

"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of things Monday. For now," Sasuke grabbed Naruto's man and pulled him inside. "Let's start our date. I've been looking forward to this all week." He laid a kiss on Naruto's cheek, the corner of his mouth, then gently on his lips. "I want your thoughts only on me."

"You can count on that," Naruto pulled the door closed behind him, picking up his things off the door. He toed off his shoes and when he glanced up, it was to find four pairs of eyes looking directly at him. He. . . hadn't been expecting that. "Erm, Sasuke," Naruto grabbed his hand. "You wanna introduce me to your friends first?" Which was complete shit because he'd been hoping this would be a one on one chat.

"Funny you should mention that," Sasuke pointed looked at the four stationed in his living before cupping on Naruto's shoulder. "I don't see anyone in here," Here, his hand squeezed protectively. "Just ignore them."

"Don't be rude, babes."

It seemed to be the cue for the four others to rise from the couch as one and approached. The one with long brown hair held out his hand first, "Sasuke's manners leave much to be desired. I'm Neji Hyuuga, a friend of the family."

Naruto took his hand and gave a firm shake, "Nice to meet ya."

Neji stepped back, "And this is my husband, Deidara Hyuuga," He held out his hand for Deidara to take but the blond had other plans.

"Charmed," Deidara held out his wrist, a few inches from Naruto's lips. "I'm Sasuke's best friend and enchanted dresser. A pleasure it is to see the man responsible for making him crawl out of the cave." Deidara shook his wrist expectedly before Naruto caught on and kissed it. Deidara hummed approvingly and moved in a complete circle, examining Naruto from what Naruto assumed. When he finished he stopped in front of him and sniffed. Naruto didn't know what kind of freak shit these folks were into but he hoped they wouldn't ask him to participate.

"He smells divine. Sasuke you said he was a blond, but you never said he could charm the devil. Look at those eyes. Blue as a cornflower. Look at that body, hmph," Deidara reached out to squeeze Naruto's arm and jerked his hand back like he'd been burned. "Oh my, carrying missiles under those sleeves?"

Naruto couldn't stop the blush creeping through his collar. His hand rested on the back of his head, "Well, ya know, I do what I can."

Deidara's voice reflected a new kind of interest. He leaned in to whisper, "Well if you ever want a new change of scenery, me and my hubby would be happy to—"

"Introductions are over love," Neji snatched Deidara back in a corner and gave him a scolding the blond completely ignored.

A shorter, red haired man approached with an aura calm as a goldfish pond, "My name is Sasori Uchiha. I'm a married member of the family," Sasori held out his hand to shake. "I expect to see you at our family dinners in the near future."

"If I can rope Sasuke in, I'll be sure to come as often as I can," Naruto shook his hand too.

"You will," Sasori said firm and softly. "I've never seen anyone turn up my brother-in-law this much. You'll do just fine."

Good. Naruto liked this bunch of already. Now came the real introductions. In the back was the dark one Naruto was skeptical about since he walked through the door. He looked identical to Sasuke, damn near his double, except for the longer hair and grazed lines. They were related in some way, brothers, first cousins or something but that was where it ended. Something ominous hovered around this guy like an approaching darkness. Naruto straightened his back when the Uchiha person walked up, looking down his nose.

Naruto could assess that expression for what it was. Someone who didn't think he was good enough for the food in a trash can or deserved to breathe the same air as the rich. Well that was something he couldn't help and refused to back down. Since the Uchiha wouldn't be gentleman-like and speak first, Naruto did the honors by holding out his hand, "Naruto Uzumaki."

The fellow left Naruto's hand hanging, "Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke's older brother." He tilted his head. "I know you well enough."

Alright. Naruto retracted his hand. Such a shame Hidan left when he had. He would've got a kick out of this. "I haven't heard too much about you but maybe I could over dinner—"

"You won't be around long enough for it to matter."

Strike two. Ok. Naruto kept his smile in check, "If that's Sasuke's intentions than I can't help that," Here Naruto looked over his shoulder when Sasuke's grip reached suffocating on his shoulder and reached up to give it a light squeeze. "But I'll try my damnest to change his mind."

The look of death softened for Naruto's eyes only. Sasuke cast a sharp, evil glare at Itachi.

Itachi ignored him, "How do you think yourself capable of caring for my little brother? You're a simple father of two, one of them on a quick trip down to the Metro Jail House for Women and a smaller one with who knows what problems, then you own a barely floating business. Should I expect more? Perhaps you're the sort looking for a quick lay or worst, an attempt into our accounts."

Strike Three. And that ladies and gentleman is how somebody earns their ass whoopings. Naruto shrugged off Sasuke's hand and stepped up to the taller Uchiha, eyes a as deep blue as the Pacific Ocean. "You seriously think that's what I'm about? If all I wanted from Sasuke was a fuck, we could've done that in his classroom. And son," Naruto chuckled bitterly. "With all that's in me, I'd advise you to keep your mouth shut about my kids. My daughter is one of the top ten performers in that damn school and my son so happens to be the most advanced in his class. I don't need my business to be barely a float, as long as it's still breathing, that's alright by me.

"As for Sasuke's money? Man, I had no clue he was loaded. Even if I had, I'm damn well able to take care of myself and my kids; have been since I was fifteen. I don't expect you to know shit about what hard work is. Hell no, you wouldn't know what that scary feelin's like. I work from sunrise to the minute I lay in bed because I never know what's gonna happen. My work is never done until I kiss my kids good night and that's what I want to give to your brother. If he'll have me, I plan to give the same kind of dedication. When he's upset, I'm gonna wanna know why and fix it. If he's happy, I wanna be the reason why. If he's sad, I'll work my ass off until he's happy again. So don't stand here like you wanna step to this 'cause brah man—I swear this ain't what you want."

And that was that. Naruto had hoped it wouldn't come to that, but bringing his kids into any kind of negativity was tempting the beast. Sasuke would probably see a whole new view on him, but again that couldn't be helped. His reaction was one that made all the air wash from Naruto's chest.

Sasuke's arms wrapped around Naruto's waist and tugged backwards. Naruto leaned gratefully against the solid warmth of Sasuke's body. Sasuke tilted his head to the side so that his cheek rested against Naruto's, and together they stared at Itachi and the rest of them. A real proof of togetherness.

Itachi's entire demeanor was so stiff, Naruto imagined of a glass stature that could withstand the strongest blizzard. He was not pleased and fat chance of being impressed. When Itachi opened his mouth to speak, Sasori's hand appeared around behind and landed on his husband's shoulder, "We've discussed this and you've said enough," he murmured. "Whatever happens, it's out of your control. You can't always take care of him."

"It's my duty to make sure Sasuke isn't taken advantage of. We' had that happen one too many times for my liking," Itachi softly snarled. "I'd cut off my right hand before I experience another night like that."

Naruto felt Sasuke stiffen and relax in one breath against his back. That was definitely going to be a conversation for later.

"What this stiff-stick-up-the-asshole means is," Deidara interrupted. "We don't want to see Sasuke hurt. As much as we get on his nerves, we care for the poorly dressed dickweed."

Naruto blinked. All eyes were on him again, which meant he was going to have to give another speech. His hands dropped to massage over the ones chained on his stomach, "I can't promise you that. We're grown ass men. He knows he'll likely hurt me and I'll likely hurt him, but that's gonna happen in a relationship. I'm only human. We're gonna fight and it'll probably be over stupid shit. Will we make up? Damn straight, but it'll take compromise on both ends." Naruto looked at Itachi carefully. "I don't expect you to like me. Hell, if I was in your shoes I wouldn't want my baby brother goin' off with some man he knew for a couple of days. I can respect you for that, but that's where it ends. You protected Sasuke, give me a chance to see if I can take over. S' all I'm askin'."

End speech because shit he was getting hungry and he was tired of putting up with these folks. Naruto had no idea he'd be put through twenty one questions when he came.

Itachi visibly bristled up to the hairs on his head. It took Sasori's reassuring grasp to relax his nerves. No more was said. Itachi rolled his eyes to the ceiling and turned on his heel. He left with Sasori behind him and Deidara and Neji as well. They shut the door behind them without as much as a farewell, leaving Naruto to wonder if he'd gone too far.

"You're amazing," Sasuke sighed into Naruto's neck. "Did you mean it?"

Hesitation, then, "Yeah I did," Naruto said, twisting around to look Sasuke in the eyes. His brow creased with all seriousness. "I like ya Sasuke. I don't know what got me feelin' like this for you, but it's like we're connected. It's been a long time since I felt this way for anybody." Naruto leaned in to nibble Sasuke's lips before continuing. "If all you really want is a quick fuck, let me know now so I won't get my hopes up and fall for you more than I have."

Sasuke stared at Naruto like discovering the secrets of a tomb. His silence wore on for seconds, minutes and soon to where Naruto's expectations were beginning to cloud.

Sasuke's forehead came to rest against Naruto's placing their eyes close, mingling their breathing as a single unit. "Don't make me regret this Naruto," he whispered against his mouth. "I want to see where this goes too."

Naruto's smile was warm and inviting. He connected their lips for several short kisses, then leaned back, "Well then, nothin' to do now expect have dinner and talk."

The smell of dinner whiffed from the kitchen right when their stomachs growled. Dinner was silent, and easy. They shared conversations on everything, from Sasuke's heritage from Spain and Japan to talks of Naruto's American roots. They had some laughs about funny stories of them as children and secrets Naruto allowed Sasuke to use as blackmail on Sakura in case she gave him a hard time. Naruto ate the fried sushi with a new opinion for fish. Then he discovered the benefits of dipping it in yum, yum sauce.

A little had smeared on the bottom of Naruto's chin. Sasuke had leaned in, and lowered his head to lick up and then straight to Naruto's mouth. When he pulled back it was to present a feline smirk. That lead them feeding the other bits of food from their plates and sips of red wine. The atmosphere was growing tenser with sexual energy.

"Damn," Naruto sipped the last drops of his wine. "This night's been full of surprises."

"Hmm mmm," Sasuke hummed, circling the rim of his flute glass. "It's been . . . interesting."

"I feel bad though. . ."

Sasuke paused, "Why?"

Naruto's blue eyes became positively dark with want so fast, Sasuke had to be sure this was the person in his room, "I want to keep my manners but, I've been thinkin' about sex the whole time. I know it's crazy, and we haven't even had dessert yet. We can wait a while ya know, after we get to know each other better—"

"Hell no," Sasuke grasp's Naruto's hands and started pulling him toward the hall. "I've waited long enough. But we'll need to compromise."

"Ok," Naruto drawled, while watching the rooms whisk by.

The bedroom they entered was enormous. A king sized bed dressed with satin gold, cream and crimson designs and an overhead canopy draping sheer white curtains. Sasuke had this one set during one of the times he pretended to go the bathroom. He'd lit the candles in glass holders. The whole second master bedroom flooded with vanilla.

Naruto was rasped deep in the decorations, the rose petals trailing to the bed and the feet of extra plush cushioning under his socks.

"Too much?" Sasuke said, a bit of worry in his tone.

"No, no, hell naw, not at all. It just," Naruto glanced around the dimly lit room. "It caught me off guard."

"I didn't know what to do for a first date. Fuckin' was on the menu for sure, but I wanted a softer approach," Sasuke opened a drawer near his bed and pulled out a blue bottle of lube and placed it on the night stand. The entire room suddenly crackled with a new kind of energy. "So about that compromise," Sasuke's fingers went to undoing the buttons of his shirt. "I say, since we both don't want to end up a permanent bottom bitch, we take turns. I'll go first."

"Folks in hell want ice water but they won't get it." Naruto chuckled, beginning to untucked his shirt.

Sasuke knocked his hands away, "Folks in hell can't get their way but I'm the devil tonight. I'll be doin' whatever I want with you." Sasuke snapped his fingers.

Music started playing in the background. Something with a swift, sharp stern beat before the words started floating in_. Knockin' Boots _by Pretty Ricky. Oh it was deadly.

Sasuke's shirt flapped open revealing the hidden valley of defined lines and budging muscles, down to the cut of hip muscles decorated in black baby hairs dipping inside his jeans. Sasuke's charm transformed into to something darker and edgy. His smirk shot fireballs to Naruto's crotches, tightening the space between his legs. As Sasuke made his way over to Naruto, the blond had to swallow back the saliva collecting on his tongue. He wouldn't punk out for shit, but damn he was getting nervous.

Sasuke placed a hand on his hip and beckoned Naruto forward with a crook of his finger. The blonde's smile was a mile wide as he came forward with a cocked eyebrow. Sasuke could play the devil all he wanted but when it came to Naruto's turn, he promised to fuck him in tongues.

Between those thoughts and now, Naruto was taken by surprise when Sasuke snatched his collar and with shocking strength, thrust Naruto across the bed, landing on his back.

The fuck just happened?

Naruto glanced around the room, wondering how in the hell he'd been transported from here to there so fast.

The blonde looked up just as Sasuke peeled the rest of his shirt off his shoulders, letting the fabric drape on his elbows. There was no smile, no kind of smirk on his face. It was pure of any lines.

No, there was something.

It was tiny, but the right side of his face was tilted just enough to produce a wicked look. Racks of hesitation began to sneak under Naruto's skin as he took in the person before him.

This, this was not the same man from before. The vibe was too, too potent. Sasuke's hands came down and slipped Naruto's socks off one by one, flinging them across the room. When he rose up, tall and looming over Naruto, the blond was nearly scared home. If possible the black in Sasuke's eyes became bottomless, like boiled oil. Was this the same submissive teacher he'd flirted with over the phone? Who was his daughter's teacher? Naruto shuffled up to recline on his hands, amazed and apprehensive.

"Take your clothes off, Naruto," Sasuke's voice deeply dropped several octaves pass baritone, with his eyes lowering with a sharp gleam, the candle light adding to his serene appearance.

Maybe . . . maybe it was just him but Naruto was lost in la la land, trying to figure out who this damn man was. He was extruding too much dominance because Naruto knew for damn sure Sasuke was a uke when they met. At least Naruto had thought he was. Should he be worried that his inner self wanted to be controlled? Lord he hoped he wasn't a secret bitch.

"Naruto."

Naruto's head snapped up, eyes wide. That was NOT Sasuke's voice. There was no way it torpedoed that many hot signals to his dick. Every syllable of his name was caressed with Sasuke's hidden accent.

"Take off your clothes," Sasuke repeated deeper, undoing the buckle of his pants.

The cling and clack of the buckle unhooking reminded Naruto of a beast being unchained from its shackles. Shit, shit, shit.

"Yeah, yeah cool," Naruto should kick his own ass for stuttering like a fool. Here he was acting like he'd never got it on with a man. He unclipped his pants buttons, pulled those off, whipped his shirt over his head and worked his thumbs into his boxer briefs. He paused before lowering them when he heard the soft swoosh of clothes dropping to the floor.

Ho-_ly_ fuck.

Naruto couldn't help it. He stared, eyes combing every lengthy inch of Sasuke's well sculpted body, down to where he'd only seen fine hairs. Now they were fanned around a healthy looking dick, throbbing with thick veins and a deep flush overtaking its entirety. This man was perfect down to the baby hairs surrounding his nut sack.

"Those too."

Naruto quickly came too and tugged down his boxers. With those gone, he was a bared as the day he was born, a proud piece of flesh that Sasuke gladly took in. Naruto's weighty dick sprung forth, a curved beautiful masterpiece, subtly jerking with every breath he took. Sasuke tilted his head to the side, dark hair silkily falling on his shoulder, "Sexy," he hummed, smiling growing more seductively. "I like what I see," He stepped forward. "Very much."

With that kind of tone, it was official. Naruto would not be stepping foot out these doors as a virgin. To his astonishment, he was looking forward to it.

Sasuke snapped his fingers again.

It was like the entire house was under his control, because the lights dimmed lower but the candle light glowed brighter. A new song came through from the speakers. _Seems Like You're Ready_ by R. Kelly.

Well, well shit.

R. Kelly couldn't have set the mood any righter. Sasuke stalked around the bed to where the bottle of lube sat, the whole time his eyes staying glued to Naruto's face. He didn't want the blond thinking for a second he was forgotten. He wanted to always see the combined color of lust and passion stay in those eyes.

Sasuke's dick stayed on full display, veins growing more pronounced and heavy. He tossed the bottle on the bed. Naruto barely had time to reach for it when Sasuke's knee dipped the mattress down and he came forward on his hands and knees. The lethal crawl left Sasuke levitating over Naruto's body, eyes swallowing him alive. He stayed up on one hand the other disappearing between them.

Naruto's entire body was laced from toe to his hairline in a deep flush. It was like waiting for the moment of impact after a fall. It came with the same crash effect when Sasuke's fingers grazed the under line of Naruto's dick with a touch barely there. There was no telling if he'd actually touched him, the sensation was so heated. Naruto buckled again when the feeling came again, twice as sensitive. Gentle kisses, lighter than midnight breezes, dabbed Naruto's lips, down his neck, over the span of his chest, and lower still to his stomach.

For every kiss pressed his abs involuntarily flexed. The kisses ceased where his navel met his dick. Naruto's eyes widened, gaze up on the ceiling shielded by the curtains. He waited, flinching for every hot breath blown on his hot dick. Naruto chewed on his bottom lip, and was taken off guard when the whole of him was sucked in one deep swallow.

"Oh shit, oh!" Naruto's hands crinkled the sheets between his fists as his hips rose and were slammed down by Sasuke's strength. "Ah gah, gah'dammit," Naruto panted viciously. Sasuke was merciless, a fiery tyrant. His tongue cupped and suctioned the skin on Naruto's dick hard and stretched. "Take that shit, ah damn, do it Sasuke!"

Sasuke purred, and took Naruto deeper, relaxing his throat as much as he could. His fingers kneaded Naruto's legs further apart, while he somehow managed to squeeze a generous amount of lube in his palm. One hand stayed to make sure Naruto's legs stayed open and the other worked on the moment of truth.

Naruto was soaring the highest he'd ever gone. His head flung from side to side, his mouth wide open, gasping and wheneverhe tried to open his eyes, the overwhelming pleasure made him close them back. Nasty, wet sounds slurped like the noises of a finished popsicle. Naruto's_ toes _curled and flexed over and over again. The pleasure was phenomenal.

"I want, I can't, holy shit, fuck Sasuke!" Naruto's couldn't get it out, so enthralled between keeping the passion there and wanting Sasuke to know what he was doing to him. His chest heaved and fell many times, before he could finally speak, "You make it so good baby, damn!"

Sasuke smiled around the flesh in his mouth. It was a talent he'd been told about many times but he'd be damned if he ever told Naruto that.

Naruto tried to say more,but was interrupted when he shuddered and went cross-eyed. Sasuke delivered a menacing hard suck to the head of his cock into his mouth, and then looked up at him. "Hm mm," he purred, giving one last suck before pushing up. Naruto was gasping, panting, sweat filming over his body and hair soaked to his scape. "I want more of you baby," Sasuke whispered, fingers probing down below.

He pressed forward with two. Naruto edged back right away, ass cheeks clenched. Sasuke's persistence earned him a hard press forward and Naruto's head bending back with a stiff grunt, "Easy, easy shit." There was so much pressure, no pain, just, just different.

"Look at me."

Naruto didn't want too. It was already embarrassing enough that he was reduced to a wilt when Sasuke sucked him off but he'd be fucked if—

"Look at me," Sasuke's hand turned Naruto's chin to him, forcing the blonde's eyes to become trapped in the dark void. Sasuke wanted to see every little reaction that came while he scoured inside Naruto. He wanted all of Naruto's emotions on view. His fingers traced and navigated around in the tight crevice, and he remained staring into Naruto's eyes which boldly glared back.

Even when he found what he was searching for—Naruto's eyes stretched wide and his lips parted—Naruto kept looking at him.

The fingers became three, loosely widening the space before Sasuke deemed it enough for his size. He with retracted his fingers, "Ready?"

Naruto sighed, long and heated, "Just fuck me."

The moment came at last. Sasuke curled his arms under Naruto's knees and came forward. The slick, sticky feel of hot bluntness started pressing through. It was hard as shit. Naruto panted, sometimes his ass scooting back as if in disbelief. Sasuke had to match every retreat with a quick lean before he settled giving a hard thrust forward.

Naruto couldn't breathe. He froze, his chest rising and falling unevenly, as he adjusted and felt his cheeks clenching the foreign dick inside. It was surreal and so, felt so strange. Sasuke took his silence for permission to continue and gave two testing thrusts. Naruto's moans vibrated in the room louder than R. Kelly's music. By the fifth thrust Naruto had worked into a rhythm suited for him and Sasuke. By the twelfth, Sasuke's body was curled tight against Naruto's, legs tangled in a vice embrace and arms folded tight around the other's back.

"Oh shit, shit, ah fuck, yeah!" Naruto hitched and panted and gasped.

Sasuke's thrusts were lifting them off the bed, fingers scratching across the surface of his comforter as he desperately tried to go deeper. "Fuck, it's so good Naruto. Damn its' so good," He whispered kisses in Naruto's ear, blown a thousand miles away from how amazing he was feeling.

The pain was unreal, but oh fuck so was the pleasure it came with. Sasuke was a beast, grunting and licking Naruto's neck. His teeth grazed over the blonde's shoulder as he buried himself to the base, pushing further still as if he could get more of himself inside.

Naruto felt all his seme pride fly out the window but could give three damns this felt so good.

"Faster!"

"Faster baby?"

"Hell yeah!"

The pace rocked into Mach five. There was no coming back. The screws in the bed frame were threatening to give way, the mattress worked out its years of stiffness and soon the pair's mingled grunts were coming simultaneously. The sweet valley inside Naruto was being given such abusive treatment. Sasuke refused to let up even when his hand skated between their bodies to squeeze Naruto as tight as he could.

The pressure crackled like lightning, the pace increased to crazy speeds. Naruto felt his stomach tugging like an elastic band.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, ah shit, oh fuck!"

Sasuke pressed his mouth directly on Naruto's ear, "It feels good?"

"Yeah, shit!"

"How good Naruto?"

Oh shit the way he said his name, "Its real good, its fuckin' good Sasuke!"

"Shit baby, you're a dream. So damn perfect."

Naruto caved in. His scream came loud and heavy as his orgasm carried with rippling effects. It rose from his stomach and traveled through every pore of his body, cramping the hell out of his left leg; the cum coated Sasuke's fingers. His climax caused a domino effect in Sasuke's body and the raven grunted a sharp noise whenhis dick released his cum in Naruto's body.

That. . . that had been. . .

"Wow."

Yeah just like that.

Naruto was a saggy ruin on top of the bed and Sasuke's weight was just as boneless. They stayed that way a moment, hands skating over wet hair and light, lazy kisses chuckled from each other. Naruto felt how one would after the first drag of a cigarette.

So fucking relaxed.

"So," Sasuke rested his head on Naruto's chest, fingers tracing tiny patterns. "What now?"

Naruto grinned against his hair. "We wait until the mornin'."

"Mmm," Sasuke's yawn drew one out of Naruto too. After a session like that they'd need the sleep.

Because later on. . .

"It's my turn."

* * *

The next morning arrived at one o'clock in the afternoon for Sasuke and Naruto. Naruto got his chance with Sasuke around two in the morning and returned the favor tenfold. It was a traded sex game from there onward until they wore each other out by eight a.m.

Naruto emerged from the bedroom first, wearing a spare terry cloth robe. It took him a few minutes to remember where the kitchen was but when he had, he guaranteed to have a nice breakfast waiting for Sasuke when he came out of the shower. He was glad the Uchiha had enough supplies in his Kenmore Refrigerator to fix a hearty western breakfast.

Naruto cooked buttered toast, scrambled eggs mixed with onions, peppers, and tomatoes, turkey bacon, sausage links maple flavored, some southern style grits with butter and oatmeal in case Sasuke wasn't into grits. He had no idea Sasuke was watching him from behind, wearing a similar robe with his hands in his pockets.

He stayed entranced by the image of the bed ruffled blonde moving around his kitchen like he owned it already. Sasuke waited until Naruto was putting the last dishes in the sink and went inside to hug the blond from behind. His chin dropped on Naruto's shoulder, "You look good cookin' in here."

"I look good period," Naruto chuckled. "You're just hungry. It'll be ready in a minute."

"It can wait," Sasuke twisted Naruto around and kissed him, sweet and short. "I want a lil' more of you."

"Hell naw, you already got my ass hurtin'," Naruto playfully shoved Sasuke away and went back to getting the dishes cleaned.

"Hey," Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hips and gave a little shake. "I wanted to talk to you before we have breakfast."

"Ok," Naruto frowned. "'bout what?"

Sasuke guided him to the kitchen table and sat, Naruto taking the chair closest to him. When Sasuke grabbed his hand and started stroking little circles on his palm, Naruto was tempted to pull his hand back. If this was going to be one of those 'i_t's not me, it's_ _you_' bullshit speeches, he was going to need that hand to punch Sasuke's teeth out.

Sasuke sighed and met his eyes, "I wanted to tell you about my last lover."

Oh. Oh ok. "What about 'em?"

"Remember when Itachi told you he didn't want another night like that?"

Naruto nodded.

"I was engaged before. A few years back I met a woman named Konan. We had fun together, everything was amazing. She was the woman of my dreams, beautiful, smart, funny, everything anybody could want in a person. We'd dated two years before I proposed and . . . it wasn't until about a couple of months later she stated showing her true colors," Sasuke's hand absently squeezed Naruto's. "I'd heard rumors that she'd started sleeping with one of my colleagues, the principal at the time name Pein. Itachi tried to warn me, damn near everyone did but I wouldn't listen. I didn't want to believe she could be so low. . ." Sasuke paused to take in a deep breath. "It wasn't until I started getting sick and when I went to the doctor I found out she gave me an STD. I received a call from my accountant a week later say she'd been sneaking large lump sums of money from my account and into another. By the time I confronted her, she and Pein were already out of state.

"She tried to sue me for half of my assets and to provide for the baby she couldn't afford with Pein," Sasuke snorted. "I wasn't going to give her the time or waste my finances on a child that wasn't even mine. It didn't fully hit me until I came home one night and saw my entire home destroyed. She'd broken in and stolen many valuables. Even a red ring that belonged to my late grandfather Madara. That alone had broken me," he swallowed. "I ended up running to Itachi's the entire night. I cried with him and Sasori for hours. I'd never felt so low."

Sasuke shook his head to rid himself of the horrible memories and lifted his eyes to meet the bottomless anger flooding Naruto's blue eyes.

"What happened to her?"

"I don't know. We managed to get the money back, and some of the valuables but the ring. It's a loss cause."

"Damn Sasuke, I-I'm sorry to hear that. Nobody, especially you deserves something that messed up."

"That's why I need to know," Sasuke said in a stronger, sterner voice. "Let me know before it happens. Will you hurt me? Let me know now Naruto. If you intend to stay don't do what she did because I swear I will hunt you down and I will destroy you. I want this to work but only if you will fall me for as hard as I'm fallin' for you."

The rest of his words were muffled against Naruto's shoulder. The embrace was fierce, strong and warm. Naruto refused to let go as he pressed kiss after kiss under Sasuke's ear. "I won't. I wouldn't dare. I want this to work Sasuke. We're gonna get this right this time. The bitch fucked up with losin' you 'cause I'm gonna make sure you don't regret us bein' together."

"Naruto," Sasuke hugged him back, burying his face against the blonde's shoulder.

That's what kind of loyalty he wanted in his life, something this strong and real.

That's the kind of future he really wanted and hoped would be in store for them. He'll learn about Naruto and Naruto would learn about him. Sasuke, hoped, he truly hoped these would be lessons learned to build a happy life.

* * *

**TBC: I won't leave y'all hanging. There'll be one more chapter. ^_^**


	5. Epilogue: Well Taught

**Author's Rant:** Here's the last chapter of this story guys. Enjoy!

* * *

**Epilogue: Well Taught**

* * *

Sasuke tittered on the edge of uncertainty from the beginning. Being hurt once would make any grown man weary. He never would've predicted what kind of life awaited after he and Naruto promised to be patient with each other. They didn't sleep with each other for a full month, using the time as rekindling of emotions. Sasuke learned about Naruto, Naruto learned about Sasuke. The compromise promised more than either man would've imagined.

The kids, particularly Sakura, took a while to adjust to Sasuke's presence. Her attitude was bitter, sometimes to the point of intolerable. Snide remarks were made, she often tried to pick fights with Sasuke but she never broke him. His patience frustrated her to tears, surprising Sasuke and Naruto the day she ran into her room and locked the door.

Sasuke had spent the night there until she emerged after midnight for a cup of water. Sasuke was sitting at the dinner table, wearing one of Naruto's shirts and a pair of his jersey shorts. Sakura cast a dark look at him, tightly tugging the belt around her terry robe and sucked her teeth, "How long you gonna string my daddy along?" She said after pouring a glass a water.

Sasuke folded his hands across the table, "You think all I want is to manipulative your father into getting rid of you?"

"Why wouldn't you? You'll just trick him somehow into gettin' rid of me and my brother. But let me tell you something," Sakura stomped to the table, slamming her palms flat on the surface. "I know it'll be a matter of time before you try and I won't let it happen. Me and Kyuubi were here first, you hear? You're not gonna treat us bad, you're not gonna up and leave because we get on your nerves, and you better not hurt my daddy or so—so help me. . ." Sakura crumbled into one of the chairs, eyes thin and wet with tears. "I know you probably won't like me but don't do Kyuubi wrong ok? He's a good kid. He likes you. And, and he's smart. You don't have to worry about him causin' you any trouble. Just, just, just make sure you treat him good."

Sasuke wanted to be sure Sakura was finish. When no more was said, he carefully rose from the seat, dark eyes trapping Sakura's timid and cold green eyes in a void. He slipped into the one next to her and reached out to thumb away the tears she failed to hide, "I can't want Naruto without wanting you and your brother Sakura. I knew when I pursued him, you and Kyuubi were part of the life I wanted. You may lump me in the same mold as Jackie Haruno, but I'm not her," Sakura's sharp intake said Sasuke couldn't have hit closer to home. The drop of her head only confirmed it more. "When I tell Naruto I love him, that automatically means I love you too. Kyuubi is a beautiful child and so are you. If this works out, I want him as my son as much as I want you as my daughter."

Sakura choked, sniffling.

"You'll have to meet me half way Sakura," Sasuke softly murmured, cupping her cheek. "I can't force you to like anymore then I can when I teach you. All I can do is be there." The pink haired girl hiccupped, tears freely falling from her eyes. Sasuke tilted her head down and kissed her brow before disappearing down the hall.

Sakura stayed at the table another hour, staring quiet at the braid of her hands, shaking. She sighed and dropped her head on the table, whispering a prayer to God, "Please, please . . . let him be different."

* * *

There were good times when Sasuke and Naruto's relationship was the envy of their friends.

However there were times it wasn't perfect. They fought, they argued. A few times it ranged from them determining the relationship a waste of time or apologized. Those were the times Sasuke worried most. After the fights, he'd disappear in the room and quiver like a leaf from head to toe. All the devilish issues of betrayal, dismissal, defeat and anxiety would cloud his mind for hours.

The worst fight between him and Naruto had been when the blond refused to stop working. Sasuke had wanted to quit teaching as well and together, they could raise their family. Naruto couldn't accept it. Sasuke, he didn't mind not working but as for himself, it wasn't an option. It made him feel less of a man when he leached off another man's bank account. Sasuke hardly saw it that way.

They'd separated when the words became so violent, wounds were mentally burned from them. It'd become too much. Sasuke had escaped to his room and locked himself inside for the entire day and most of the night. Naruto had went home and didn't call or knock on the door. Later on around a quarter to ten, Sasuke finally worked up the energy to fix a small dinner, take a lonely shower and get into bed. He hardly slept a wink because his mind was too hazy with feeling worried.

The front door opened and closed.

The noise echoed louder with the house still empty from the warmth of a family. He heard his bedroom door open and the soft sigh of someone walking in. The swish of socks glided across the plush carpet in with a familiarity of having been there for more than three years.

Sasuke held his breath when the bed dipped and then a long arm draped around his middle and pulled him back against a solid, strong body. Naruto's scratched cheek appeared and laid comfortably on his, the smell of the rain and Men's Body Wash filtering from his skin. His fingers spread across the shirt covering Sasuke's stomach while his other leafed through Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke felt his body growing warmer, more content as the minutes ticked on and no one uttered a word. Naruto's lips were moist as heated honey against Sasuke's shoulder, his neck and soon, Sasuke's head angled to meet the sweet taste. It was reassuring; it was their connection and a need to know that the other was there. Sasuke turned into Naruto's arms and let the blond pepper his body over in kisses. Naruto's caresses were patient and slow and came with the comfort of hot chocolate before a warm fire, the more he explored Sasuke's body.

He paid attention to each part, leaving nothing untouched. Sasuke's arms, his legs, his fingers, his hips, his chest, his stomach, neck, face, all of him was shown the heat of Naruto's love for him. The anticipation of what was to come started like a furnace in Sasuke's stomach. Naruto's fingers hooked into his boxers and lazily dragged down, lips never missing a beat in their ministrations.

There was a pause, a breeze of wet air grazing the top of his naked dick where Naruto's mouth hovered. Sasuke's chest rose and fell with erratic thumps. Naruto's nose lightly nuzzled where the pubic hairs were soft and light. The tips of his finger would come and ever so gently curl airily on Sasuke's hips. It was difficult to know when he was and wasn't touched.

At last, Naruto's hand fully gripped Sasuke at the base and stayed, squeezing and tugging up. Sasuke was so perfect in his eyes, every glowing inch of him the moon showed through the curtains. "I love you Sasuke," he whispered, baritone voice caressing his lover's name better than any embrace. "I love you so much." He lowered his mouth to lap his tongue across Sasuke's head. The flavors erupted in his mouth like the spread of butter. "I love you," he said again before covering the head with his mouth and suckling.

Sasuke grunted through his teeth, head thrust to the side and eyes sealed shut. The shock of feeling Naruto's mouth on him came with the same level of realizing the blond was actually doing this to him. Naruto had never gone down on any man. Never. He'd never had that bond with anyone to want to know how they tasted. With Sasuke, he wanted to know, he wanted that deeper connection.

"I love you so much baby," Naruto lowered his mouth, sucking inch for inch into his mouth until the feel of curly hairs teased his nose. The pace was slow, calculative and searching. Naruto didn't want a piece of Sasuke left. His suctions became harder, the inhalations concaving his cheeks per penetration. He slowed coming up, sweeping his tongue across the head to steal the cum drops, then quickly dropping down.

"Damn it," Sasuke's wanton sounds came, each becoming more shameless then the last. "Naruto. .

Naruto kept his sucking steady, pace gradually increasing in speed. Sasuke's hips threatened to clamp shut, but Naruto held them apart with a bruising grip. He sucked faster, he sucked harder, pulling the skin between his teeth. Sasuke's grunts transformed to airless gasps. Desperate hands reached down to find purchase in Naruto's messy blond hair, massaging to the scalp.

"Shit," Sasuke husked, sweat filming his body. "Oh my God, Naruto."

It was so sexy. Sasuke's voice didn't go higher like some would. It deepened, becoming twice as drowsy with sex. Sensations were flooding to Naruto's dick like fire ants. He ground his crotch against the bed to keep his libido under control. It was nearly over. He felt when Sasuke's flesh swelled, his protruding vein now scraping the top of Naruto's mouth.

Naruto waited. The spasm came and then the release. Liquid fire, sticky as molasses and just as thick streamed, down his throat. He took it all, not leaving a drop. When he was sure none remained, Naruto let the shaft go, kissing the limp flesh and getting a full whiff of the musky scent. Saliva decorated Sasuke's dick like glitter. His arm was laid over his forehead, eyes fastened to the ceiling and breathing uneven.

Sighing deeply, Naruto closed the small space between them and slowly put his arms around Sasuke from the front. Together they stared into each other's eyes. What little light peeked into the room, they used to focus solely on the other. Naruto's eyes weren't afraid. They were full, wide and prideful in showing his emotions in every shade of blue imaginable. "I do love you Sasuke," his deep voice penetrated the quiet room like the strike of lightning. "Ya know that. We gonna fight, we gonna hate each other, but I'll be damned if I ever let ya go."

Sasuke's heavy breathing was what he had to go on for a while, before the raven haired man shifted forward. He kissed Naruto deep and strongly. They would fight, they would argue. He was just glad it didn't mark the end. Sasuke turned the blond on his back, squeezing himself between his jersey clad thighs, hovering above with his moist banes clinging to his face. "I want to take care of you." He dug his pelvis down, emitting knitted noises from Naruto's lips. "I want you happy," he steadily worked his hand below to take off Naruto's shorts. "You deserve so much."

Naruto's eyes squinted to see the darkness swirling in his lover's eyes, "You smiling is enough for me Sasuke. I ain't gotta have money to be happy. Just seeing your face every day," he gasped when Sasuke's naked dick stroked against his. "T-that's enough to get me by."

Sasuke paused where he positioned himself to enter, eyes concentrated heavily on the blond hair, blue eyes and now flushing skin of Naruto. It was bizarre, so strange how . . . how easy it was to satisfy this man. Sasuke didn't want it to be that simple. Naruto deserved the best. Sasuke wanted to give him more. He lowered himself down, the front of his t-shirt and Naruto's wife beater blending from sweat.

And he entered Naruto, the rush of pain and linked emotions coming from their simultaneous gasp. "I want you happy," Sasuke repeated, slowly diving his dick in and out, in and out. "You deserve it all. Nothing's too good for you."

Naruto half chuckled, half whimpered as the Sasuke curled against him and thrust, "You are."

"Never," Sasuke rasped against his ear.

They made love that night. There was no rush, they took their time. When they finished, Sasuke laid his head on Naruto's chest and gave a chest deep sigh of relief. This was what he wanted in his life, someone like this man.

Naruto was growing sleepier with the casual strokes of Sasuke's fingers through his hair.

But he heard what his lover said before he slept.

"I love you Naruto."

* * *

It'd been eight long, glorious years. A lot had happened in that bit of time. Sasuke and Naruto married one another after three years and soon their plans for an even bigger life began. The Uzumaki-Uchihas moved into a larger house, much grander than Sasuke's last and one he wholeheartedly enjoyed having done to fit his family. The house was a two story Western style mansion with ten bedrooms, two balcony, a large patio and a grand back yard and front yard. Money was no expense when it came to guarantee his family a good life.

Today, Sasuke stood over the back balcony, overlooking the activities below. It was Sunday and they were having a casual gathering with family and friends. It'd became a tradition of sorts for everyone to come around and enjoy each other's company.

Sakura graduated as valedictorian in her class and had gone off to study Pediatric Nursing. Her wife Ino, whom she proposed to right after high school, was out of the country traveling with her soft ball team for the quarter finals. Sakura had grown, thank god, out of her rebellious stage and was a little calmer. She still had a wicked temper and wouldn't hesitate to cuss out either of her fathers but when it came to the children was as sweet as a popsicle. She cut her hair to mid length, usually keeping it brushed off her face in a neat ponytail.

Kyuubi was off in the distance playing with Deidara and Neji's eight year old daughter Hinata, showing her the skills used in catching bugs and frogs. She'd been born through a surrogate mother, since the pair couldn't resist having a child somehow connecting them together. Hinata had taken to being as spirited as her blond father and at times quiet when around her biological father, Neji.

Sasori and Itachi still wanted to wait on having children and possibly wouldn't. They enjoyed the company of each other well enough. Sasuke assumed Itachi only wanted to give his full attentions to Sasori anyway.

And Sasuke smiled. . . he had to confess he was proud of his brother for trying. It'd taken three years before he deemed Naruto's intentions legit and had even taken to challenging the blond to a game of chess every visit. The game was an automatic greeting between them.

"Come on, come on, you can do it sweetie," Sasuke heard Sakura tease. Near a picnic table, dressed in a Winnie the Pooh overall out was their youngest child. Sakura was easing back tiny steps from her ten month baby brother, Obito. He was the last addition to the family of now seven and currently the family's silly joy. He was a terribly amusing child, chubby cheeks always turned into a smile and squeals of laughter were plentiful for all.

Naruto swear the child took after his father with the hair and eyes, but even if Obito looked like Sasuke, his personality was all Naruto's. His eyes were wide and expressive and when it came to that smile? Pure talented lady killer. Whenever they were in public, the women flocked to him and Obito ate it up. The fathers knew the little brat was catching on to what he was capable of doing too.

Their other child was a quiet girl whom sat in Naruto's lap as he concentrated on making his next move with his and Itachi's chess game. She was one, toying around with some Cheetos between her teeth and messily getting the stains on Naruto's shirt. Samui looked like her biological father Naruto, but when it came to personality, she was timid and quiet, like Sasuke. She adored playing with Sakura and when it came to getting what she wanted, all she had to do was bat her big blue eyes and everyone was putty in her hands.

Especially Hidan, who absolutely refused to admit it. No one could convince him that she worked him like a slave. Like now, Hidan waltz over with Zabuza and neatly eased Samui from Naruto so he could focus on kicking Itachi's ass.

The last pair to come was . . . wow. To this day, Sasuke still didn't understand how he could've missed this one.

Kakashi came in holding Gaara's hand, both wearing calm smiles and wedding bands. How it happened, who knew. Why did it happen, who knew. No one could've predicted this pair and somehow it was still unbelievable. Sasuke didn't see how these two matched. They were both quiet, simple, hardly ever smiled and when it came to conversations? They were mute.

Naruto had to help him see for himself one day.

Everyone had been watching a movie one night at Itachi's house when the odd pair arrived. Hidan couldn't believe it, refused to believe it and when he threatened to kick Gaara's ass, Kakashi threatened to kick his. Of course that still hadn't been convincing for Sasuke. It was when Naruto had gotten up to fetch some popcorn and came back grinning from ear to ear that did the trick.

"Come'mere," he whispered to Sasuke.

"Why?"

"Just come," Naruto tugged his lover off the coach and lead him to the kitchen. They stopped to hide outside of the entrance. "Just watch." Naruto mouthed and pointed.

Sasuke nodded, looking around to see.

It was nothing really. Gaara was walking around the kitchen gathering bowls to pour in some cheese dip. Kakashi was perched on a counter reading a book, flipping pages, eyes dancing over every word. Sasuke didn't understand it at all. These two just didn't fit. His eyes traded that same message to with Naruto when he heard Gaara's soft whine and looked around the counter.

Gaara was struggling to reach a bowl too high on the shelf. It'd been only a split second before Kakashi closed his book—a miracle for this guy—and reached out to get the bowl for him.

Gaara's smile was small and Kakashi's eyes were the crinkled smile for him. Little things happened from there on. As Gaara mixed the dip, Kakashi was there to help add the ingredients. They teased each other without words. They played in a way only they could understand. When Gaara accidentally got some cheese on his chin . . . well that's when things got a little heated.

Kakashi used the pad of his thumb to ease the sauce off, licked it off and then softly cupped Gaara's face between his hands gave him an inviting kiss. The sight was endearing. Sasuke recognized the connection right after that. Naruto had kissed him like that before, as if he were made of glass and could easily break.

Kakashi looked at Gaara like he was the precious tiara placed on a soft pillow on display. He kissed him like he was the only one who mattered.

"Daddy!" a tiny face tried to squeeze between Sasuke's legs from behind. Sasuke steadied himself on the balcony railing and looked over his shoulder to see their last child; the first born from their chosen surrogate mother and an incredible spitting image of Sasuke. He was the eldest of the three youngest children, the sneakiest and when he smiled it always meant trouble.

Because it looked the same way as Naruto's when he wanted to get a taste of Sasuke.

"What is it?" asked Sasuke.

"Hot dog," Madara Uchiha ll demanded. His long black hair was difficult to handle just like Kyuubi's, but Sakura and Karui threatened to castrate Sasuke and Naruto if they cut the boy's hair. "I want a hot dog p'ease. Sakura say no." He looked up at Sasuke, and the smile was still on his face, which made Sasuke grin back. "Daddy get it for me," he said and nodded as if the matter were already resolved.

"We'll see," Sasuke scooped the four year old up and went down stairs, passing the ten bedrooms and exiting through the back patio. No sooner had Sasuke's feet touched the grass, Madara squirmed to get down when he saw Hidan's son, Haku waddling over. He'd forgotten all about wanting a hot dog.

Sakura came up with Obito in her arms, who was soaking his fists with saliva, "Daddy, you mind getting the kid? I gotta pick up Ino from the airport."

"Be careful driving there and tell her I said hello," Sasuke mumbled as he took his son.

"You can tell her yourself when she comes," Sakura tip toed to kiss Sasuke's cheek and walked around him. She paused at the sliding glass door and turned. She turned and gave him a smile. The smile she always gave him for no reason. When Sasuke would ask why, she'd always say the same thing. "Because you're still around." She didn't say it this time. She simply left.

"Motherfucka' you cheatin'!"

"How the hell am I cheatin'?"

"You reneged you fat baboon! I saw that diamond in your hand, and you didn't play it. Gimme my damn money!"

"I ain't givin' you shit. You can get these nuts in yo' mouth!"

"Do what?!"

Sasuke snorted under his breath, shaking his head. That signaled that Deidara, Zabuza, Hidan and Naruto were now playing spades. This was the most heated game they ever played. Sasuke glanced across the yard at Gaara who was shaking his head. That expression read, "_What a bunch of idiots_."

Sasuke laughed softly, and flipped up his wedding band. That signal said, "_Glad to have these idiots_." He looked down at his ring and smiled.

Naruto had picked it specifically for him because of how close it resembled the one lost to that traitor Konan. It couldn't have been a clearer declaration of love if Naruto had spelled in red ink on the side of the house.

"Neji, you better get yo' diva before I beat the dye outta his head!"

"Fuck you, this is my natural hair color!"

Naruto roared with laughter, drowning out most of the argument. It was music to Sasuke's ears. Naruto flashed his signature grin at Sasuke after sensing his mate near and puckered his lips to throw an air kiss.

Sasuke winked, cocky grin in place.

If there was anything Naruto taught Sasuke is that life couldn't be perfect but it'd be worth the try. A lesson he was looking forward to learning.

**^_^ The End ^_^**

**TBC: Another Naruto Romance/Humor story is on the way folks. So if you want, add me in your alerts so you'll know when it posts. Until next time guys! **


	6. Learn Well

**Author's Rant:** I couldn't resist ^_^. Just one more time.

* * *

**Learn Well**

* * *

"This is bullshit."

"So I've heard."

"I can't believe you're sittin' there calm and shit. This is serious!"

Sasuke refused to lose his spot on today's newspaper because his husband was having his usual dramatic sessions when it came to their children. After celebrating a fourteen year marriage and dealing with a house full of kids, a teenager and mischievous antics of their youngest son, one would think Naruto could handle his oldest son going on his first date. The blond was far from pleased and his pacing back and forth, checking the window was making Sasuke irritated.

Kyuubi turned eighteen several months ago and has done incredibly well in his studies. During his senior year, he'd gained recognition as MVP Baseball Player of the year by McDonalds. Five high classed colleges had their eyes on the young red head and three Major League teams were looking at early recruitment. He'd grown into a healthy, strong young man. His hair had grown passed his shoulders—which has earned him the title, Baby Red by his classmates on both sides of the sexual spectrum— and he'd grown an inch passed his fathers. It was killing Naruto to see the sweet little boy he once knew, grow so mature; that and the fact that so many outside eyes were noticing it too.

However, Kyuubi kept to himself. He had friends, he had associates, but his focus was always on his school work and baseball. During that time, not once had Kyuubi ventured out into the dating field to explore his curiosity.

That is, until he said he was going on a date and well, things hadn't been the same since.

"I don't like it," Naruto murmured for the tenth time as he flipped the curtains back in his and Sasuke's bedroom. "This cat's gotta be what? Our age? At least forty."

"He's twenty one," Sasuke absently corrected.

"That's damn near close to retirin'!" Naruto snapped angrily. "What do we know about him, except he goes to college, and he works at the YMCA. By the way babe, that's bullshit, because I went down there the other day and I didn't see his ass there."

Sasuke, fed up with trying to read today's news, folded the newspaper neatly and placed it on the nightstand. Fourteen years hadn't made him doubt his love for Naruto but in those fourteen years, it has taught him that there was no way of calming the man down without a fight. "Naruto, we've discussed this. Kyuubi's eighteen, he's never been in trouble and he's always done well in his homework. Why can't he enjoy himself just once?"

Naruto had the nerve to pout, "Because I don't trust this guy. He's too sneaky. All these kids got on their minds is fuckin'. But lemme say this, he won't be deep dickin' my boy today. No sir, nah-uh," To be on the safe side, Naruto jerked the curtains back again when he thought he heard a sound, thankful it was just the wind brushing the trees.

"He'll have to grow up someday."

"Someday yeah, when he's forty with liver spots. Where did he get that ass? Have you seen him? Shit, all that protein and beef. I'm tellin' ya, we outta make the brats into vegetarians. I mean, what happened to the good ole' days when they matured slow and all they cared about were Legos?"

Sasuke chuckled softly, "We aren't that old," He patted the space next to him on the bed. "Come here."

The blond was reluctantly to leave his spot by the window. It took more than a pat on the bed to persuade him to leave but when he had, Naruto was welcome to laying his head on Sasuke's lap to have his scalp massaged. He was purring within moments of those long fingers digging against his crown, "Ah damn, you haven't done that in a minute."

"Mmm Mmm."

Naruto sighed, readjusting his head around to see Sasuke's face, "How come you're not as worried as me? You trust this boy like that?"

"I trust Kyuubi to make the right decisions," Sasuke leaned forward, his voice deep and soft against Naruto's hair. "We raised our boy to be an adult. Mistakes are meant to be learned from. Now's the time to see how good we did, don't you think?"

"Hell no," Grumbled Naruto. "But it ain't up to me. The kid's gonna have to grow up sometime." Naruto sighed turning his face into Sasuke's stomach, leaching the warmth and smells. "I just wish he hadn't grown up so fast. All the brats are growin' up on us."

"We still have three more to go, love." Sasuke kissed his husband's worried crinkles away from his brow. "Six, seven and nine. You plan on carrying on like this for their first dates?"

"No, 'cause I'm gonna pop the lil' motherfucka's on the head before they ring the bell."

"No, you'll let them go," A kiss here and another there. "Otherwise, how will I get you all to myself?"

"Oh yeah?" Naruto shifted so his arms could reach up and curve around Sasuke's neck. "That's right. When was the last time, I had a lil' taste of you?"

"Too long," Sasuke leaned down for the briefest, sweetest kiss that started with a neat flick of his tongue in and out of his husband's mouth. That was only because their bedroom door was pushed open without so much as a knock and in came three kids, all of whom decided to use their parent's bed as a trampoline. Six year old Obito lead the pack, climbing up and stumbling on top of Naruto's back. Samui settled herself right on Naruto's stomach and Madara tucked himself under Sasuke's arm, all three, perfectly content with life.

"Daddy, daddy!" Obito shouted, not distinguishing between the two. " Can we have peanut butter and jelly for dinner? I want them!"

"I want them too p'ease!" Samui agreed.

Madara shushed his siblings and said, "We can't because Daddy's already cooking hamburgers tonight, aren't you daddy?"

"Sure am—if I'm not busy killin' your brother's boyfriend." The last part earned Naruto a wicked glare, which he returned right back. "What? I'm entitled to being pissed off."

"Me too," Huffed Madara. "I don't want Kyuubi goin' on a date. Dates are stupid."

Naruto's grin split his face in half, "See? Out of the mouths of babes. That's my boy," He reached out to ruffle Madara's raven hair and sat up. His mind was going a million miles an hour as he thought over what was about to take place.

Kyuubi. His sweet, little playful Kyuubi was about to go out on his first date. Naruto had been secretly thrilled that his son had chosen to wait on dating when he turned sixteen and after he'd confessed to Sakura about his interest in boys. She hadn't been surprised, and neither had his parents. It became a little sticky though when Madara walked into the room at the wrong moment to ask what gay meant.

Sasuke snorted, "What are you worried about?"

"His first date turning out like ours," Naruto blurted out.

Sasuke paused, then, "We're still together, idiot."

"No, no, babe," Naruto turned around to face Sasuke's placid frown. "We turned out good. We got our family together, our lives are established. But you're forgetting one important detail."

"And that is?"

"We fucked on the first night."

Oh . . . oh. . . OH. Sasuke's eyes went enormously wide as memories from that first night began to overwhelm his brain. On and on they replayed like the rewind scene of an old film. Sasuke was about two minutes into getting close to the most heated part when his mind went blank from a terrible question.

"Daddy, can I fuck too?"

Naruto gasped, horrified.

Sasuke stared, horrified.

Obito looked between his parents, unsure of the new game they were playing and so copied their open mouth expressions at Madara too.

Madara simply looked on. When he received no answer, he emphasized his question again with a rock of his head, "Can. I. Fuck. Too?"

Naruto recovered first. He snatched Madara by his arm and yanked forward, "What have I told you about gettin' in grown folks business?" He snapped. "Don't you ever let me hear you say that again, you understand?"

"But daddy," Madara said. "You it all the time. And Sakura says she did it too. Why can't I do it?"

"Because I said so!" Naruto growled. "Me and your daddy ain't raisin' any of you to be potty mouths. The next time any of you say a bad word, I'm dishing out ass whoopin's. You hear me?"

Madara, as well as Samui who weren't used to being scolded by Naruto, both began to tear up and nodded, "Yes sir." They whispered, bottom lips poked out. Obito nodded his consent and went back to tugging on Sasuke's shirt.

The children weren't used to being reprimanded because Naruto wasn't used to doing the job. It was Sasuke who normally disciplined them with silent punishment. They were used to that sort of treatment. If their blond father was resorting to taking the lead, it had to be serious because he rarely lost his smile. He was unusually tense and all three of them could sense it.

Sasuke could too, "Why don't you guys go call Sakura and see if she can bring the baby over to play."

Samui's tears quickly vanished at the mention of their newest playmate, "Can I ask her to bring Akamaru too?"

"Only if you're be good."

"Yay!" Obito and Samui scrambled and fought to get out the door first.

Madara was the most reluctant to leave, lingering near the edge of the bed where Naruto's knees bent over. He stared, half his face peeking over, switching from Sasuke to Naruto, back to Naruto and Sasuke again. His nine year old heart was melting and he wasn't going to move until he got some reassurance and propped right on the floor to play with his shoe laces.

"Madara," Naruto grumbled after a five minute silence.

Madara played with her eyes on the floor, self-consciously tying his shoes over and over after he'd learned a new way in school. He shyly looked up, his body tensing suddenly, "Hm?"

"Come here, son."

He did, though with a weary glance and hesitate step. Madara edged around the bed until his tummy was lined with Naruto's head. "Sir—Eeep!" Suddenly Madara was in the air, squealing at the top of his lungs and slammed against the bed with Naruto blowing raspberries on his stomach. "No, no, no, Daddy no!" Madara tangled his fingers in Naruto's air, kicking and failing miserably to get free. "Ok daddy, ok, that's enough!"

"Yeah, that's right." Naruto playfully shoved his son off the bed and smacked his butt. "Now get outta here. We still love ya."

"Jerk!" Madara dashed out of the room before Naruto could take back his loving words.

Sasuke, whom witnessed the little spectacle, leaned one elbow on the ball of his knee and smiled. He knew Naruto wouldn't last five seconds when any of their children had long faces.

"He's a lot like you, ya know?" Naruto quietly admitted. "He always needs to be reassured I love 'em when I'm pissed off."

"Yeah, but that was years ago," Sasuke lined himself along Naruto's side, studying his close-eyed profile. "After fourteen years, I doubt you can convince me any more than you have. I know you love me."

Naruto gave a close-eyed grin, "And I'll tell ya every day until you get sick of hearin' it."

"No, I never get tired of hearing it." Sasuke turned Naruto's chin around to kiss him and stroked the tiny grays daring to discolor the sunny blond spikes. After all this time, he'd never get tired of the way this man affected him. Like a fresh oasis to a thirsty man, Naruto had that wonderful ability to make Sasuke always want to be by his side.

He knew Naruto felt the same when he clung to the back of Sasuke's neck when he tried to pull away from the kiss, fingers working the tiny dip in his neck that always had Sasuke panting for a longer session. When the kiss slipped apart, their eyes were darker and half shut, misted with desire and sparked with a still burning fire.

"I love you so much, Sasuke."

"I love you, Naruto."

* * *

"I'm nervous 'Nata," Kyuubi twisted around in front of his vanity mirror with a disappointed frown. He'd hoped this red one would look good, but it only washed out his coco skin, "Damn it. Why can't I find an outfit?"

"Because you keep throwing away everything you think Uncle Naruto won't like," Fourteen year old Hinata giggled. Everyone could say what they wanted about their oddly aged friendship. It worked out just fine for the pair who'd become inseparable since Kyuubi shared his play blocks with her. Hinata re-crossed her legs on her best friend's bed. "I've never seen you this worked up over anything. Lighten up. Why won't you wear this one?" She held up one of the discarded yellow V-neck Gucci shirt. "I think it's cute."

Kyuubi stuck his head out of the closet, scrunching his nose at the shirt, "Dad says that screams street hoe. I don't want Lee gettin' the wrong idea."

"But you don't want to go out like a stiff either. I think Lee wouldn't mind seeing a little bit of skin."

"How would you know?"

"I read it in Cosmo."

"The same one that says a man's horny because of his knee caps?"

"Nope that's medically impossible. You're supposed to watch his toes flex."

Kyuubi barked a laugh, shaking his head, "That's bullshit 'Nata and you know it." A powder blue, short sleeved button front shirt with black lining around the sleeves and rim of the shirt, was pulled over his head. It was a little snug around his chest. Would his dad give him hell about this one too? He hoped not. This one looked really flattering against his body. Kyuubi stepped out and twirled. "How's this look?"

"I like it. What kind of parts and shoes?"

"My Timberland boots and blue jeans."

"That'll do," Hinata bounced off the bed to stand and circle around Kyuubi. She accessed him with some inspecting grunts, nods and adjustments to his shirt to appeal to what she'd like best and finished up with a soft smile. "You're so handsome Ky. I bet Lee's head will rock when he sees you."

"God, I hope so," All the butterflies took off at once at the mention of his older date. It'd been so sudden when Kyuubi met Rock Lee at the International Food Festival. It was meant to be just him, his little brothers and sister and Hinata but it ended up being a family outing with everyone. Kyuubi had requested to venture off on his own with his sister's baby, Utakata, in tow because there was a stand he needed to do research on for class.

It'd been the most popular food cart in the whole festival and by the time Kyuubi reached it, there'd been a line nearly a mile long.

* * *

"Wow, what a cute baby."

Kyuubi felt his hairs electrify when that voice spoke so close to his neck. He'd swore a summer breeze had blown through even though it was the middle of November. He angled his head around to see two fish bowl round eyes, burnished as dark as Anthracite coal and a pair of gigantic eyebrows to boot. This guy's grin could produce enough shine to keep a city lit for days. His hair was a neat symmetrical trim all around his head, and lower down was a body was clad in a cream cashmere sweater and brown corduroy pants.

But that sweater wasn't fooling anyone. Underneath was the lean cut of a runner, perhaps even a swimmer. Where his chest molded to the sweater, the rest fell in a loose fit. Kyuubi mentally slapped himself for staring so hard and cleared his throat.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," The taller gentleman said, smile still turned on to 100 watt. "I wish had a little brother to bring along. Maybe I wouldn't have had to come alone. I'm sorry, or maybe not brother. Is he your son?"

Kyuubi turned fully around, blue eyes narrowed, "He's my nephew."

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to offend. I'd just assumed."

Kyuubi felt his attitude drop a smidge after the apology seemed sincere, "No problem."

"How old is he?"

"Six months?"

"Really and already getting big?"

Utakata decided right then to direct his attention to the new person and frowned. He was one of the few family children to not cry as often but, good god, when he did, this boy could wail. Kyuubi was hoping not to experience that kind of moment but was surprised when instead of crying, Utakata did something else.

He giggled a sudden burst of squeals when the stranger started making funny faces and squishy sounds with his cheeks. Kyuubi exchanged a look at his nephew and accidentally caught the stranger's face being smooshed on both sides by his hands, making his eyes and lips seemed extra-long. Kyuubi's boyish laugh came before he could stop it and found he couldn't stop if he tried. This new guy eventually put on a show for both of them, even going as far as doing a little skit.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," The bushy browed gentleman dramatically bowed at the waist. "A good laugh's always good for lifting the spirit and, what do you know, it's good for killing time too." He pointed.

Kyuubi followed the finger and sighed in relief. The line to the food cart and depleted to about a third of its length.

"Shall we?"

Kyuubi nodded, repositioning Utakata on his other arm, "Before little man starts fussin'."

"Ah, I doubt he'd mind the wait," Chuckled Mr. Soup-bowl. "By the way, I didn't catch your name." He asked when they reached the end of the line.

"Don't remember throwin' it."

"Huh? Oh!" The stranger burst into a sudden loud, obnoxious laugh that drew the attention of many bystanders and had Kyuubi itching to run. "I get it. Catch the name, throw it. Right, you're funny." He held out his hand. "My name's Rock Lee."

Kyuubi looked at the outstretched hand the way he always did when someone offered their names. It was always well and good in the beginning until they heard his last name and immediately put two and two together. "Kyuubi Uzumaki-Uchiha." He waited for the shine of recognition to come. Being the son of an old Japanese money company was a perk at times, but as Kyuubi got older, it became an annoyance. Everyone wanted a piece of him and what came with the Uchiha last name, not to mention his growing reputation as a future Major League player.

Lee's head tilted to the side, "By any chance are you related to—"

Here it comes. Kyuubi's eyes were already rolling.

"—Sakura Uzumaki-Uchiha?"

"Sure, yeah, I am," Wait. Rewind. Wrong name, wrong adult. Kyuubi's frown creased his brow in confusion. "You know my sister?"

"You are Sakura's brother! Oh wow, I thought you looked familiar. You and her have the same smile! So this is _her_ son, yeah?"

"Yeah, uh Ino had him."

"That's crazy. I hadn't known she'd have him this soon. When they used to come by the gym, all those two ever did was argue. Sakura's great. She's the one who helped me get that job when I moved into town."

Ah, so that explained why he didn't recognize the name. His accent should've been a dead giveaway, "You're from Japan?"

"Well, yes and no," Lee grinned sheepishly, scratching behind his head. "I'm sort of a Military brat. I was born in America but raised between countries. My mom's from America but her dad's Japanese. My dad's originally from Japan though."

Now Kyuubi was interested, "How'd they meet?"

The line edged forward as Lee explained, "My mom joined the Marine's when she finished high school and got deployed straight to Okinawa Island for active duty training. She told me she met my dad when she went out with friends to a ramen shop called Ramen Tetsuya. He was one of the cooks," A warm blush flared across Lee's cheeks. "Dad said when he saw her, he'd thought his heart stopped beating. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Of course, she still is. Kurenai Yuhi-Guy has a way of turning heads with those eyes."

"Kurenai," Kyuubi tested the name on his tongue and smiled. "That's pretty. It means crimson, right?"

"Yeah, her eyes are that color. How'd you know?"

It was Kyuubi's turn to blush as he rocked a now sleepy Utakata, "My dad's got some Jap in his blood. Both my parents do. I learned a little bit from my Uncle."

"Really? I never would've guessed with your red hair and eyes."

"That's my mother's fault."

"But I thought you said—"

"My father's Japanese American, my mother's American, and my father's Spanish-Japanese-American. My fathers are together."

"Wait . . . oh."

Way to go Kyuubi. Just destroy every good conversation with your awkwardness. Could he really be blamed? Half the time he already had speeches laid out to answer the same usual questions about what it was like being an Uchiha child. This was the first full discussion about someone else and not on him.

"So, your dad's gay?"

Kyuubi's head snapped so fast, a few strands of red hair popped from his rubber band, "What of it?"

"Hey, hey relax," Lee laughed. "Don't get bent outta shape. I was just wondering. I don't mind at all."

"I didn't ask if you would."

Another laugh bubbled out of Lee's chest like the sleek slide of hot chocolate, "Wow, you've got a testy mouth on you. Take it easy, I won't bite. I'm just making conversation."

The line moved up some more. Kyuubi felt the edge dissolve a little as he turned to face the line, silence creeping up, thanks to his mouth again. He chewed his bottom lip in thought, wondering how he was going to break the ice without sounding like an ass again.

"So what school do you go too?"

Relief blossomed in Kyuubi's chest. He was glad the talk could carry on, "I'm a senior at West Falls High. I graduate in four months. What about you?"

"I attend South University. I'm a sophomore there."

"Oh," Kyuubi immediately deflated at hearing that. Lee was a college student, which probably put him at, what, twenty or twenty one? Why the hell would he want to talk to a high schooler?

"The line's movin' Kyuubi." Lee lightly nudged the red head forward. "What's with that face?"

"What face?"

"The one you made when I said I was a sophomore. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No, no, no way. I just," God, Kyuubi wished he could stop blushing. "I was just wonderin', why talk to a high schooler? You're some big time college student, right?"

"Who happens to enjoy having a conversation with anyone who's willing," Lee shrugged. "I don't discriminate who I hang out with. That's boring. If I can play chess with a seventy year old man every weekend, I can deal with talking with anyone."

Kyuubi laughed again, but stopped when Lee gave him an odd look, "You're serious?" Kyuubi deadpanned.

"Yep, I volunteer at the elderly home across town and the animal shelter in the next county and tutor math students on Fridays."

Kyuubi blinked, "Where the hell do you get the time and energy to do that?"

Here came Lee's thousand watt grin and bright eyes, "I have all the energy in the world! I can run fifty laps, I can swim a hundred laps, I can do two hundred push-ups, two hundred sit-ups and still have enough umph to pull a car!" Lee struck a few funny poses, ringing forth another chuckle from Kyuubi. Then he asked, "What about you? How do you spend all of your energy?"

"I play baseball, and I have three siblings at home to help with homework every night," Kyuubi said.

"You play baseball? I bet you're a great pitcher."

"I am," Kyuubi's head jerked up, shocked. "How'd you know I was a pitcher?"

"From your arms," Lee's voice was cool and steady when he cupped his hands around Kyuubi's bicep, right hand digit trailing over a worming a vein. "I've played soccer, basketball, football, baseball and hockey, but I can't remember when my arms worked as hard as when I played pitcher. Your arms defy your strength by how thick they are." Lee's finger traveled upward, slow and precise—unknown to him, causing a stir in Kyuubi's breathing and creating a similar effect on his skin. "Wow, you've got some really strong muscles. I bet you can throw a ninety five, easy." Lee squeezed and glanced up.

A whole new shine reflected in the older man's eyes that hadn't shun there before. There was a soft sigh, and Lee's one step bringing them closer. Kyuubi kept his arm still and if he trembled a bit knew his and Lee's chest would bump. The slightest motion could interrupt him and make Lee remove his hand.

Kyuubi wasn't sure he wanted him too. The rough heat from his palms flexed and enclosed themselves as if afraid to let ago anyway. Then there was the scent of Irish Body Wash and peppermint, fanning Kyuubi's nostrils. He swallowed, the movement drawing Lee's eyes down to his throat.

"Amazing," Lee's finger's delicately knitted Kyuubi's arm. "Please don't be offended, but when I saw you—well, when I saw your eyes, I wanted a closer look. They're so blue. I've never seen anyone with eyes that bright. They're exotic."

Kyuubi's chin automatically rose to match Lee's gaze, openly displaying every sparkle there was.

"See? Unreal," It could've been the slight chill in the open air but goosebumps erupted all over Kyuubi's body like volcanic pulses. Lee's voice had sunken to monotone, maybe a deeper octave, and it seemed to vibrate from beneath the ocean. "And that hair and skin, wow, you're a sight Kyuubi."

Kyuubi's head ducked down to hide his smile, "I know. I get it all the time."

Lee's fingers drummed, then fell away, leaving an empty patch of cold skin behind. The move was so sudden, Kyuubi had to double take to be sure it'd happened. Lee's expression's lost all of its exuberance and turned softly sad, "I'm sure you do." As if not knowing what to do with his hands, Lee shoved them inside his pockets and stepped back. "Well, the line's down to nothing. Guess we'll catch each other around town? Or whenever. See ya!" Lee turned on his heel and walked off.

Kyuubi's shoulders slumped. Each step taken seemed like a hard press against his chest. His arm felt unbelievably cold and so did the space of warmth Lee occupied before. He hadn't meant it to come off like that. It was meant to be—well, maybe funny. Kyuubi wished his foot was big enough to kick his own ass. Thinking fast, he glanced at Lee's slender figure gradually vanish in the crowd and looked at the cart stand.

An idea came. When it came his turn, he grabbed all the items needed for his project and ordered two of the cart's famous Greek Chicken Kabobs. Juggling Utakata, the pamphlets and two snacks took some careful maneuvering but Kyuubi managed the whole ten minutes it took for him to find Lee at a goldfish stand.

"Lee!"

Rock Lee stood, searching out the crowd until he saw Kyuubi hurrying toward him. "Kyuubi?" Lee looked around unsure. "You came lookin' for me?"

"Yeah," Kyuubi quickly pushed the kabob forward before he lost his nerve. "You didn't try the chicken. You were in the line the whole time right? Might as well reap the benefits." Lee hesitated. Kyuubi's lips bunched to the side as he rolled his eyes, "Either eat it or pay me back for it."

"Oh, oh sorry, sure," Lee eased it away and bite down, scorching the shit out of his tongue.

"It's hot you idiot!"

Lee danced around fanning his tongue, eyes watered a sour red. He was a mess, running to every stand looking for a cup of water. Kyuubi's eyes were in tears too; tears of laughter as he followed behind watching Lee's crazy antics. Throughout the time, Kyuubi noticed Lee hadn't once put the chicken down. He risked another bite and gave a smile through the meat's heated flavors.

Lee. . . he was something else.

* * *

Kyuubi had expected many things when he saw Lee waiting for him downstairs. He knew his date would be dressed casual, he knew Lee looked handsome in it and he knew when Lee saw him, Lee would present his smile and offer every compliment in the book.

What Kyuubi hadn't been expecting was seeing his father's sitting across from his friend, his blond father sitting in the chair and dark haired father taking up in the couch, both of their eyes lashing Lee down like an orange.

Hinata's giggles weren't helping the situation either, "You think they scared him?"

"Knowin' Lee, he's too sweet to know a real threat from a fake one," Hinata gently pushed Kyuubi forward down the stairs. "Have fun!"

Kyuubi shuffled down, fixing the cuffs of his leather jacket and giving his hair a neat shake for a messy side style. A long swoop fell over his right eye while the rest laid tied behind his head.

"Kyuubi, you look great!" Lee stood up and took Kyuubi's hands in his, gazing deep in those blue eyes. "Beautiful as always. Oh, wait a sec," Lee swept the hair hovering over Kyuubi's eye. "There, much better. Don't ever hide those eyes. They're beautiful."

"Kiss ass," Chuckled Kyuubi.

"Ahem, yeah," Naruto interrupted rudely and terribly loud. "Where the hell you goin' with my boy?"

"Dad!" Kyuubi gasped, embarrassed.

Lee outright laughed, shocking both Sasuke and Naruto. "Don't worry Kyuubi. Your dads are so funny. I've never laughed so hard. Mr. Naruto said he wanted to run over my junk and sell it for jewelry."

Kyuubi's head clicked slowly to the left to leave his fathers a deadly warning. "We're goin' to Olive Garden." He gritted through his teeth.

Naruto's eyebrow lifted, "And then?"

"Probably an ice cream parlor," Answered Lee. "Say, I have my Wii installed too. You want to come to my place and play Dance, Dance?"

"I'll dance, dance yo—" Sasuke's eyes said be quiet Naruto, which the blond had trouble doing. "Dance, dance my ass. Boyyyy, you better be glad I'm saved." All of this Naruto said under his breath, of course.

"I think we can save that for another time, Lee." Kyuubi said evenly. "We're gonna leave guys. I'll see you later. Bye!"

"Bye Kyuubi!"

"Bye 'Uubi!"

"By Ky!"

"Bye Kyuubi!"

The children and Hinata all waved from upstairs. Sasuke and Naruto walked up to the front door to watch the young pair make their way to Lee's Impala. They'd reached the car and sunk inside when Sakura suddenly emerged from the darkness with a suspicious smile, twirling a wrench in her hand. "Have fun guys!"

"We will!" The boys echoed.

Sakura stood next to a smiling Naruto and a confused Sasuke. "Sakura? I didn't know you were coming."

"I had to fix a couple'a things for Daddy," She winked at Naruto who returned it back.

"Such as?"

"Just wait."

They wouldn't have to wait long. Lee's car started making a horrible rattle sound before a snap, crackle, and pop said the car wasn't budging an inch. Kyuubi kicked the door open, eyes wild and enraged, "Damn it Sakura! How could you?! You fat, pepto bitch!"

"Sorry brah, I had to do it!"

Naruto could've wept. He curved his arm around his daughter's waist and kissed her temple, "I taught you well."

"I learned from the best." The two dipped inside the house, laughing to their heart's content. With Lee's car down, their little fancy date was going to go on right here. Sakura went upstairs to visit the children. Naruto made himself comfortable right on the couch and patted the space next to him when Sasuke came back a minute later.

"Sorry babe, I couldn't resist. Gotta protect mine and ours, ya know how it is." Naruto made a show of kicking back to relax and waited for the young adults to enter. He waited for fifteen minutes and grew worried that he may have went too far. "I hope he's not too mad."

"He's fine."

"How do you know?"

"Because him and Lee left a few minutes ago."

"They just—do what? How, did they, I thought, Fuck!" Naruto shot out the door faster than a wink.

Sasuke stayed right there. Naruto would figure out how fast his son could operate too. Kyuubi let the air out of Naruto's tires an hour ago and had an idea that Sakura would try something sneaky. So he'd asked if he could borrow one of Sasuke's.

Sasuke twirled every key to every car they owned and hid them in his pocket. He'd taught his son well.

* * *

**TBC: Well this ended up being longer than I thought. For those of you following Diagnosis Me Baby, there should be an update tomorrow ^_^. Hope you enjoyed a little of Kyuubi's romance.**


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